FA 087 Lifestyling

Introduction topic

  • We Aren’t Built to Live in the Moment - NYT Opinion Piece

    • Martin E.P. Seligman is a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, and one of the authors, along with Peter Railton, Roy F. Baumeister and Chandra Sripada, of “Homo Prospectus,” on which this essay is based.

    • John Tierney writes the Findings science column for The New York Times. Follow him on Twitter (@JohnTierneyNYC).

  • Our emotions are less reactions to the present than guides to future behavior.

  • Therapists are exploring new ways to treat depression now that they see it as primarily not because of past traumas and present stresses but because of skewed visions of what lies ahead.

    • The future exists only as a collective fantasy in our minds and the minds of others

    • Flawed perception of the future leads to anxiety and depression

      • While most people tend to be optimistic, those suffering from depression and anxiety have a bleak view of the future — and that in fact seems to be the chief cause of their problems, not their past traumas nor their view of the present.

        • Studies have shown depressed people are distinguished from the norm by their tendency to imagine fewer positive scenarios while overestimating future risks.

      • While traumas do have a lasting impact, most people actually emerge stronger afterward. Others continue struggling because they over-predict failure and rejection.

  • When making plans, people reported higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress than at other times



  • What is Lifestyling

    • Difference between kink, fetish, and lifestyle

      • Kink: Something you like to do

      • Fetish: Something you need to do

      • Lifestyle: Something you live

        • Special case: Callings

          • Therian / Otherkin

How to lifestyle

  • Finding communities

  • Dating and mating within the community (vs outside)

    • https://www.feralattraction.com/advice/dating-a-jealous-non-furry

      • “It is certainly possible to make dating a non-furry work, if they are at least tolerant of the fact that you participate in the fandom, but that does create the potential for jealousy (of losing you as a mate to a furry) and envy (of the time you spend with furry friends, doing furry activities, such as attending cons or meets).”

  • Maintaining a lifestyle living space

    • Fur houses

    • Furry decor

  • Maintaining a work/social balance

  • Retaining your identity in the face of a community

Is lifestyling for you?

  • What are you passionate about?

  • Is furry your primary passion?

  • What draws you to furry?

  • Would lifestyling interfere with any of your existing passions, commitments, or relationships?

  • Would lifestyling create difficulties with family or other non-scene associates?


  • hello there, im a 19 year old male asexual furry fox, and i think im going to be alone forever, ive never had a girlfriend in my whole life, ive had a friends who are girls but never a girlfriend, they just dont seem to be interested, im starting to feel like ill  never get a girlfriend/wife, and i think im the weirdest fur in the world, i have weird fetishes yet im asexual, and im very shy and submissive, will i alwabe alone?


  • Next week’s topic: Picking and budgeting for your first con

  • Contact info

  • Other business

    • Patreon

      • Ms. Hyde Plug

        • I'm participating in a "Streak for Tigers" around London Zoo on the 10th of August. If you'd like to know how to support me running around the zoo naked and fundraising to protect tigers in the wild, then you can find details @HanacondaSparks on Twitter.

          • My fundraising page is: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/hanaconda

      • Snares Plug

      • Zarpaulus Plug

        • If you're a fan of furry in high-tech sci-fi stories you might be interested in the Para-Imperium universe by Zarpaulus (www.paraimperium.wordpress.com).

          • He has recently published a short novel with Thurston Howl Press titled "The Pride of Parahumans", you can go check it out on Amazon

        • If you’re a fan of speculative-fiction, science fiction, or Starcraft you might enjoy Zarpaulus’s writing! Give it a look and consider becoming a patron of theirs at https://www.patreon.com/Zarpaulus

      • Myron

        • Twitter handle is @MyronTheFluffy

        • Feel free to follow me for pictures and my daily red panda-dog ramblings!

Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.