We Aren’t Built to Live in the Moment - NYT Opinion Piece
Martin E.P. Seligman is a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, and one of the authors, along with Peter Railton, Roy F. Baumeister and Chandra Sripada, of “Homo Prospectus,” on which this essay is based.
John Tierney writes the Findings science column for The New York Times. Follow him on Twitter (@JohnTierneyNYC).
Our emotions are less reactions to the present than guides to future behavior.
Therapists are exploring new ways to treat depression now that they see it as primarily not because of past traumas and present stresses but because of skewed visions of what lies ahead.
The future exists only as a collective fantasy in our minds and the minds of others
Flawed perception of the future leads to anxiety and depression
While most people tend to be optimistic, those suffering from depression and anxiety have a bleak view of the future — and that in fact seems to be the chief cause of their problems, not their past traumas nor their view of the present.
Studies have shown depressed people are distinguished from the norm by their tendency to imagine fewer positive scenarios while overestimating future risks.
While traumas do have a lasting impact, most people actually emerge stronger afterward. Others continue struggling because they over-predict failure and rejection.
When making plans, people reported higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress than at other times
What is Lifestyling
Difference between kink, fetish, and lifestyle
Kink: Something you like to do
Fetish: Something you need to do
Lifestyle: Something you live
Special case: Callings
Therian / Otherkin
How to lifestyle
Dating and mating within the community (vs outside)
“It is certainly possible to make dating a non-furry work, if they are at least tolerant of the fact that you participate in the fandom, but that does create the potential for jealousy (of losing you as a mate to a furry) and envy (of the time you spend with furry friends, doing furry activities, such as attending cons or meets).”
Maintaining a lifestyle living space
Maintaining a work/social balance
Retaining your identity in the face of a community
Is lifestyling for you?
What are you passionate about?
Is furry your primary passion?
What draws you to furry?
Would lifestyling interfere with any of your existing passions, commitments, or relationships?
Would lifestyling create difficulties with family or other non-scene associates?
hello there, im a 19 year old male asexual furry fox, and i think im going to be alone forever, ive never had a girlfriend in my whole life, ive had a friends who are girls but never a girlfriend, they just dont seem to be interested, im starting to feel like ill never get a girlfriend/wife, and i think im the weirdest fur in the world, i have weird fetishes yet im asexual, and im very shy and submissive, will i alwabe alone?
Next week’s topic: Picking and budgeting for your first con
Ms. Hyde Plug
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