FA 084 Pick Up Artists

Introduction topic

  • Passion

Topic

What is Pick Up Artistry?

  • Pick Up Artists (PUA) practice what is often referred to as “The Game”: it is a series of tricks and systems taught to help guys fuck women

    • Prevalent in the ‘manosphere’, the portion of the internet concerned with mens-rights, “red-pilling”, and often drenched in misogynistic views.

    • Rooshv, widely known PUA mentor, says the following:

      • There are several components of good game practice that make love less likely to develop. I’ve taught men to…

        • Adopt a model of abundance whereby you treat each girl as disposable and replaceable

        • Adopt the mentality that all women are selfish and extractive, and that you must get your sexual pleasure from them as quickly as possible

        • View women solely as sexual depositories that can not aid the lives of men

        • Be willing to walk away from any woman, a mindset that aims to help you not develop emotional attachments

  • Pick Up Artistry is based in limited science, but takes it to a naturally unethical conclusion: that by exploiting weaknesses and insecurities any man can successfully have sex with a lot of women.

    • There is a lot of focus on learning these skills from the incel community, and a lot of the verbage that PUAs use (cucks, alphas, betas, etc…) have been co-opted by the incel community, as well as other political groups.

    • This is what a lot of guys who subscribe to “nice guy” syndrome, that they are stuck in the “friend zone” as a beta while Alpha males (they like to call them Chads) are abusive, attractive, and steal all the women away from them.

What does a PUA Mentor teach you?

  • The “warm” approach

    • Often a gimmick, it’s equal to putting yourself out there like a fishing line and waiting for someone to nibble

      • Often it will be based off of a job

        • Bartender, Bouncer, Promoter

        • Someone who knows someone in the band

      • This often preys on the unwilling or the unknowing

        • Photographer, host on CouchSurfing/AirBNB

      • This can also prey on the vulnerable if you are in a position of authority

        • Tour Guide, Foreign Language Instructor, Athletic Coach/Trainer

    • This relies on you having the ability to quickly sell your qualities when approached

      • Generally you appeal to things you think the girl will respond to, such as attraction to physique, charm, charisma, etc…

      • You aren’t trying to please her or make her like you, but you want to put her in the position of wanting to impress you/chasing you/looking for your approval

        • Some PUAs refer to this as ‘activating’ her ‘submission index’ or ‘submission drive’.

  • The “cold” approach

    • Like cold calling, it’s going to individual girls and asking for their number/gauging their interest in sex

      • Rooshv states he asks out ten girls at a club with the following understanding:

        • Four are in a committed relationship

        • Two have fuck buddies

        • One is “not in the mood”

      • Thus, according to his “math”, he should have 40% of all girls he asks out available for sex

      • The cold approach relies on making yourself as immediately “impressive” as possible to ensure interest

      • Guys who have this approach often rely on skills such as:

        • Negging

          • The use of a backhanded compliment (“Wow you look great-- what did you do?”)

          • This tends to prey on individuals with lower self-esteem

        • Doing, not asking

          • These techniques advertise you seek forgiveness, not permission

          • They view enthusiastic consent as being a beta-trait, and by removing this from the equation it removes the opportunity to say no

        • Playing up their individual qualities

          • Finding one quality (typically athleticism, dominance over another male, intellect, or some adventure) that they can memorize a quick, easy story about, often playing up parts

          • Travel is another common trait, because it points to wealth, adventure, and an ability to provide    

Why is all of this bad?

  • To assign a point value to women

    • Even if you are a 5 or a 6, you can get with an 8 or a 9, because you are a man and you deserve it/earned it

    • This turns the idea of a one night stand into more about racking up points and less about mutual pleasure

  • It’s fucking bullshit

  • This is not the way to create relationships

    • They acknowledge this and that The Game doesn’t help you determine if your attraction is emotional or physical

  • It’s the science of the law of averages:

    • Many of these gurus admit to learning these techniques over thousands of iterations with thousands of girls. This isn’t testing, it’s just the law of averages at play

    • They advise that it will not work everytime. Again, the law of averages.

  • It teaches you to cover your integrity/worth, and play up values by masking your own vulnerability

    • You aren’t working on yourself and your faults, you’re merely working on the appearance of being a wholy-rounded-individual

    • While this game might work in the short run, eventually everyone has to retire and you may not develop a sense of self, leading to mid-life crises (and worse)

    • By putting stock in “the game” and not yourself, you rob yourself of any agency and it actually damages your self-worth in the long-term.

Feedback

    • Hello Metriko and Viro,

    • I am a male, cisgendered, gay wolf. I wanted to write you in order to let you know how much your podcast has meant to me in my struggle to determine what I want out of life and how to get it. I am 33 and, even though I have been looking at furry porn since I was old enough to look at cartoon porn, 20 years ago, currently visit Fur Affinity on a daily basis, and have been active on Furnet in the past, I never actually identified as a furry, as I always considered myself a pseudofur, only interested in the porn and not so much the community.

    • I am an avid listener to the Savage Lovecast and subscribed to your podcast when Viro was on, and listened to the past 10 episodes to catch up. What had started as curiosity and an honest need to balance the many podcasts I listen to on my long commute, has quickly turned into one of my favorite podcasts and it making me rethink my furry identity.

    • I am married and in an open relationship. My husband has known since we first started dating that I was into furry porn, and we have had a number of conversations regarding whether or not I identify as a furry. I know he would support any decision I make, just as he knows I would support his. We have a wonderful life: full-time jobs, a house, friends, a dog, the works. Nonetheless, since entering my 30s, I have felt an emptiness in my life, as though I wasn't living up to my full potential, that there was a part of myself that wasn't fully nurtured in the mundane world. Then, I started listening to your podcast, and I started to think about who I was for the first time since I realized I was gay.

    • I have received such a wealth of knowlege and perspective on the furry community from both of you. I appreciate that you celebrate the best of the community while not shying away from the stark realities. You speak to my level intellectually and I feel I am vibing on the same wavelength regarding your most recent topics.

    • Metriko, your thorough, in depth explanation regarding why we have sex and how furry sex is not only different, but better than mundane sex, particularly with regards to the narrative we create when engaging in furry sex, perfectly contextualized and disginguished just what makes it so rewarding. It's not just two bodies colliding; it's so much more. You also speak in a thoughtful, calming manner, which helps me to absorb everything you are saying.

    • Viro, I love that you have fully embraced your fursona and live the life that you want. I have greatly enjoyed your speaking on underwear party etiquette, sex party etiquette, your relationships, experiences, and fetishes (I even found the puppy play group very interesting and wanted to hear more about it). Obviously, I don't know for sure if any of that is for me, but I don't know if it's NOT for me either. The important part is our being able to have the freedom, without judgment, to figure it out for ourselves, and live a life that feels fulfilled.

    • You both give me hope that there is more. You both give me hope that I can do what you and many others have had the courage to do over the years. The furry community isn't a scary place. It's warm and welcoming. It's stigmatized, because those in the mundane world don't fully comprehend it, but what the world thinks shouldn't stop anyone from doing what they feel is right.

    • There is nothing stopping me from reaching out, from exploring, from making connections, from going to a Con, from meeting my favorite artists, from making new friends, and, perhaps, making some meaningful connections. There is nothing holding me back except myself, and I refuse to stand in my own way anymore.

    • I don't know what my plan is for now, but you have both provided me with the tools to figure it out, and for that, from the bottom of my blue wolf heart, I say thank you, and if you are ever at a Con where I am in attendence, I will surely thank you in meatspace.

Closer

  • Next week’s topic: All Questions Show (vol 7)

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Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.