FA 083 DIY BDSM

Feral  Attraction
Episode 083 - DIY BDSM 08/23

Intro

On this week’s show we open with a discussion of scholastic success-- does performing highly in High School equate to overall success? Our main topic is on DIY BDSM-- we talk about how to transform your household items into naughty toys. We close out the show with a question on becoming less of a selfish lover in bed.

Introduction topic

  • Wondering What Happened to Your Class Valedictorian? Not Much, Research Shows

    • Karen Arnold, a researcher at Boston College, followed 81 high school valedictorians and salutatorians from graduation onward to see what becomes of those who lead the academic pack.

    • So why are the number ones in high school so rarely the number ones in real life? There are two reasons. First, schools reward students who consistently do what they are told. Academic grades correlate only loosely with intelligence (standardized tests are better at measuring IQ). Grades are, however, an excellent predictor of self-discipline, conscientiousness, and the ability to comply with rules.

    • The second reason is that schools reward being a generalist. There is little recognition of student passion or expertise. The real world, however, does the reverse. Arnold, talking about the valedictorians, said, “They’re extremely well rounded and successful, personally and professionally, but they’ve never been devoted to a single area in which they put all their passion. That is not usually a recipe for eminence.”

    • School has clear rules. Life often doesn’t. When there’s no clear path to follow, academic high achievers break down. Shawn Achor’s research at Harvard shows that college grades aren’t any more predictive of subsequent life success than rolling dice. A study of over seven hundred American millionaires showed their average college GPA was 2.9.

Topic

Why DIY?

  • Participation in the creative process can create sense of ownership, respect

    • Can be an activity with a submissive as part of D/s dynamic

  • Can be much cheaper!

  • It’s fun to be creative / think outside the box

How to get started?

  • Think about the kink activities you would like to participate in, and the “professional” gear that would typically be involved

  • Think about how you could replace that gear functionally using household items — without compromising safety

  • Put together a “shopping list” of all the items you’d need for your DIY dungeon kit, get your gear, and get to work!

    • Where to go?

      • Army surplus stores

      • University surplus stores

        • Great for medical/lab play-oriented materials

      • resale/second hand shops

        • Used clothing is a fantastic starting material

      • Garage sales

      • Pet stores

Gear to reverse engineer (Pervertables!)

  • Bondadge gear / restraints

    • Replacements:

      • Plastic wrap / duct tape

        • Plastic wrap / duct tape doesn’t have a safety release, so never leave someone unattended who is restrained in this way

        • Cuffs / collars / leashes can be often be replaced with duct tape

        • Don’t tape against skin - use plastic wrap as a base layer

      • Zipties!

        • Make sure never to cut off circulation and have scissors readily available

      • Pet store gear!

        • Collars

        • Leashes

          • Leashes are great for bondage, and can easily be used to tie hands and feet and to accomplish a hog tie

        • Tie outs

          • Outdoor bondage fun!

        • Harnesses

          • Some harnesses designed for large-breed dogs will fit smaller bottomy humans (better than human harnesses do >.>)

      • Rope!

        • Most hardware stores sell it by the yard

          • Make sure you test the coarseness of the rope before you use it

        • Jumpropes also work

    • Note: Some “bondage-gear-in-a-box” kits aimed at the BDSM neophyte are actually quite affordable and high enough quality to consider buying outright

      • Look for “underbed restraint system” on amazon and go with a well-reviewed product from a well-reviewed seller

    • Don’t buy cheap “novelty use only” BDSM restraint gear, especially handcuffs, as these will be uncomfortable and/or dangerous to use

  • Slings

    • Hammock!

  • Straitjacket

    • Super oversized longsleeve shirt

      • Wrap sleeves around, tie off

  • Nipple Clamps

    • Replacements:

      • clothespins work really well!

      • Rubberbands and chopsticks also work really well (pencils in a pinch)

      • Clamps for bags of potato chips

        • Avoid the toothed clamps as those can hurt you

  • Blindfolds

    • Replacements: any short stretch of cloth, even cut out of a piece of clothing, such as a pair of sweatpants you no longer wear, or an old towel

  • Paddles:

    • Replacements:

      • Paint Stirrers (you can often get them free from the hardware store)

      • Cutting boards

      • Sports equipment (whiffle bats, ping pong paddles, badminton racquets)

      • Hair brushes

      • Flexible wooden dowels

  • Whips/flails/etc:

    • Replacements:

      • A bunch of shoelaces taped together

      • Rope (again, dry test before usage)

      • The belt

  • Dildos

    • Banana in a condom

    • Hairbrush handle in a condom (watch for sharp seams!)

  • Ball gag

    • Use an apple!

    • Stuff your (musky) underwear in their mouth

  • Sensation play gear

    • Replacements:

      • Ice cubes

      • Mentholated massage oil

      • Motherfucking candles (get nonscented please)

      • Warming lubricant

      • Mint (Metriko would like to talk about Dr Bronner’s Peppermint Soap here because that is a taint-tingler)

      • Lengths of various fabrics

        • Satin

        • Cotton

        • Synthetics

        • Leather

        • Silk

        • Wool

  • Messy / slippery play

    • Use lubricant, albolene, etc

    • Use weatherproof tarps from camping/surplus stores to keep play area clean

  • Edge play

    • Dull butter knife and sharp steak knife is all you need

      • Tie up your partner, show them the sharp knife, verbally threaten them with it, then blindfold them

      • Put the sharp knife away, never letting them see that you’ve replaced it with the dull butter knife

        • Put the dull blade against their skin in a sensitive spot and watch what happens!

        • You can keep this up as long as you remember to hide the switch before removing their blindfold

    • Without lots of training, don’t use sharp “live” blades for edge play; the risk of injury is too great

Question(s)

  • Subject: Selfish Lover?

    • Question / Message / Feedback: Dear Feral Attraction,
      I sometimes feel like I am a selfish lover. I just don't get aroused by fingering my boyfriend before sex or doing the things that help him get off. Performing these acts typically ends my arousal. I want to do these things for him to help him enjoy himself, but it keeps me turned off and I go soft. Can I learn to enjoy these things or is it hopeless? I sometimes am not even in the mood anymore after going through foreplay that does not excite me.5

Closer

  • Next week’s topic: Pickup Artists (and other assholes)

  • Contact info

  • Other business

    • Patreon

      • Ms. Hyde Plug

        • I'm participating in a "Streak for Tigers" around London Zoo on the 10th of August. If you'd like to know how to support me running around the zoo naked and fundraising to protect tigers in the wild, then you can find details @HanacondaSparks on Twitter.

          • My fundraising page is: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/hanaconda

      • Snares Plug

        • Patreon comic projects, page updates for just a dollar every month.

          • https://www.patreon.com/snares

        • One stop site for commission & artist info.

      • Zarpaulus Plug

        • If you're a fan of furry in high-tech sci-fi stories you might be interested in the Para-Imperium universe by Zarpaulus (www.paraimperium.wordpress.com).

          • He has published a short novel with Thurston Howl Press titled "The Pride of Parahumans", you can go check it out on Amazon

        • If you’re a fan of speculative-fiction, science fiction, or Starcraft you might enjoy Zarpaulus’s writing! Give it a look and consider becoming a patron of theirs at https://www.patreon.com/Zarpaulus

      • Myron

        • Twitter handle is @MyronTheFluffy

        • Feel free to follow me for pictures and my daily red panda-dog ramblings!

Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.