Episode 083 - DIY BDSM 08/23
On this week’s show we open with a discussion of scholastic success-- does performing highly in High School equate to overall success? Our main topic is on DIY BDSM-- we talk about how to transform your household items into naughty toys. We close out the show with a question on becoming less of a selfish lover in bed.
Karen Arnold, a researcher at Boston College, followed 81 high school valedictorians and salutatorians from graduation onward to see what becomes of those who lead the academic pack.
So why are the number ones in high school so rarely the number ones in real life? There are two reasons. First, schools reward students who consistently do what they are told. Academic grades correlate only loosely with intelligence (standardized tests are better at measuring IQ). Grades are, however, an excellent predictor of self-discipline, conscientiousness, and the ability to comply with rules.
The second reason is that schools reward being a generalist. There is little recognition of student passion or expertise. The real world, however, does the reverse. Arnold, talking about the valedictorians, said, “They’re extremely well rounded and successful, personally and professionally, but they’ve never been devoted to a single area in which they put all their passion. That is not usually a recipe for eminence.”
School has clear rules. Life often doesn’t. When there’s no clear path to follow, academic high achievers break down. Shawn Achor’s research at Harvard shows that college grades aren’t any more predictive of subsequent life success than rolling dice. A study of over seven hundred American millionaires showed their average college GPA was 2.9.
Participation in the creative process can create sense of ownership, respect
Can be an activity with a submissive as part of D/s dynamic
Can be much cheaper!
It’s fun to be creative / think outside the box
How to get started?
Think about the kink activities you would like to participate in, and the “professional” gear that would typically be involved
Think about how you could replace that gear functionally using household items — without compromising safety
Put together a “shopping list” of all the items you’d need for your DIY dungeon kit, get your gear, and get to work!
Where to go?
Army surplus stores
University surplus stores
Great for medical/lab play-oriented materials
resale/second hand shops
Used clothing is a fantastic starting material
Gear to reverse engineer (Pervertables!)
Bondadge gear / restraints
Plastic wrap / duct tape
Plastic wrap / duct tape doesn’t have a safety release, so never leave someone unattended who is restrained in this way
Cuffs / collars / leashes can be often be replaced with duct tape
Don’t tape against skin - use plastic wrap as a base layer
Make sure never to cut off circulation and have scissors readily available
Pet store gear!
Leashes are great for bondage, and can easily be used to tie hands and feet and to accomplish a hog tie
Outdoor bondage fun!
Some harnesses designed for large-breed dogs will fit smaller bottomy humans (better than human harnesses do >.>)
Most hardware stores sell it by the yard
Make sure you test the coarseness of the rope before you use it
Jumpropes also work
Note: Some “bondage-gear-in-a-box” kits aimed at the BDSM neophyte are actually quite affordable and high enough quality to consider buying outright
Look for “underbed restraint system” on amazon and go with a well-reviewed product from a well-reviewed seller
Don’t buy cheap “novelty use only” BDSM restraint gear, especially handcuffs, as these will be uncomfortable and/or dangerous to use
Super oversized longsleeve shirt
Wrap sleeves around, tie off
clothespins work really well!
Rubberbands and chopsticks also work really well (pencils in a pinch)
Clamps for bags of potato chips
Avoid the toothed clamps as those can hurt you
Replacements: any short stretch of cloth, even cut out of a piece of clothing, such as a pair of sweatpants you no longer wear, or an old towel
Paint Stirrers (you can often get them free from the hardware store)
Sports equipment (whiffle bats, ping pong paddles, badminton racquets)
Flexible wooden dowels
A bunch of shoelaces taped together
Rope (again, dry test before usage)
Banana in a condom
Hairbrush handle in a condom (watch for sharp seams!)
Use an apple!
Stuff your (musky) underwear in their mouth
Sensation play gear
Mentholated massage oil
Motherfucking candles (get nonscented please)
Mint (Metriko would like to talk about Dr Bronner’s Peppermint Soap here because that is a taint-tingler)
Lengths of various fabrics
Messy / slippery play
Use lubricant, albolene, etc
Use weatherproof tarps from camping/surplus stores to keep play area clean
Dull butter knife and sharp steak knife is all you need
Tie up your partner, show them the sharp knife, verbally threaten them with it, then blindfold them
Put the sharp knife away, never letting them see that you’ve replaced it with the dull butter knife
Put the dull blade against their skin in a sensitive spot and watch what happens!
You can keep this up as long as you remember to hide the switch before removing their blindfold
Without lots of training, don’t use sharp “live” blades for edge play; the risk of injury is too great
Subject: Selfish Lover?
Question / Message / Feedback: Dear Feral Attraction,
I sometimes feel like I am a selfish lover. I just don't get aroused by fingering my boyfriend before sex or doing the things that help him get off. Performing these acts typically ends my arousal. I want to do these things for him to help him enjoy himself, but it keeps me turned off and I go soft. Can I learn to enjoy these things or is it hopeless? I sometimes am not even in the mood anymore after going through foreplay that does not excite me.5
Next week’s topic: Pickup Artists (and other assholes)
Ms. Hyde Plug
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