FA 080 First Times


Introduction topic

  • Young Men Are Playing Video Games Instead of Getting Jobs. That's OK. (For Now.)

    • http://reason.com/archives/2017/06/13/young-men-are-playing-video-ga

    • “22% of men in 20s who lacked college degree had not worked single day in past year”

    • The surprising thing about the stereotypical aimless young man playing video games in his parents' basement: He's actually happier than ever.”

      • May be wise to limit time spent gaming in order to seek balance with activities that do create a sense of efficacy in the real world

      • Sense of accomplishment, efficacy, power increasingly taken from gaming, not from employment, human relationships

      • Can be a barrier to later life progression in terms of career, family building

        • A young life spent playing video games can lead to a middle age without marketable skills or connections. "There is some evidence," Hurst pointed out, "that these young, lower-skilled men who are happy in their 20s become much less happy in their 30s or 40s."



Viro’s First Time


Metriko’s First Time

Spanish Tutoring

First Time Best Practices

    Safer Sex

    Be Slow and Patient

    Manage your expectations


Save it for a trusted partner (even if not the love of your life)

Consider sex-worker




RE. Fursuit Care and Cleaning.


Hello! Thank you so much for doing an episode on suits! I really appreciate whenever anyone can cover fursuit care as a topic - it’s a thing we suiters need to be very diligent about! To that end, I’d like to add a few more tips to help fuzzies keep their suits fresh.


You mentioned a lot of great tips about keeping the outside of your suit clean, but the inside is just as important! You skin has a lot of nasty stuff on it that can eat away at the backing of your fur! This is why most suiters I know A - wear an under layer inside their suit, and B - spray down the insides with a solution of 70% isopropyl alcohol as soon as they get out.


If someone is murrsuiting, they might not put on an under layer on at all, and that makes spraying down the insides even more important!


Secondly, there actually ARE times when it’s recommended to blow-dry a suit! Applying heat to dry out a suit is a great way to ruin it, but controlled blow-drying can help straighten out fur strands that have gotten too matted or curly. Matrices has a wonderful breakdown on how to do it on her website, here http://matrices.tumblr.com/post/147759135513/using-heat-to-repair-faux-fur


I can’t stress enough - http://Matrices.net is a treasure trove of info for care and maintenance of fursuits.


Lastly - D’awww, I’m glad you like my outfits! =3


Thanks again for another topic well done!


- Metric Foxton'



Subject: How do I tell off my clingy ex-submissive?

    • In January 2016 I started a mostly online relationship with a guy I met on FurAffinity, we had a few interests in common such as sci-fi, furries, and bondage and we were both autistic and lived in the same state, though he was over two hours away.  Once I gave him my phone number he started calling me daily to dump all his problems on me and I'd mostly just say, "uh huh," or "yeah" for twenty minutes at a time.  Over the next six months he seemed to be getting increasingly obsessed with me, giving me random art pieces, he has a hobby of designing spaceships and fan characters for various popular sci-fi franchises and he named several after me before I told him it was making me feel awkward, and even then he "gave" me a couple more after that before I reminded him. He was talking about moving in together the instant he convinced me to give him his phone number, specifically he wanted me to move to his small town supposedly because he would lose his SSI if he moved to another county, which I later discovered wasn't true though he could have simply been mistaken.  While my job was in the capital and most of the jobs I was looking at were there too. We spent a con together and met a couple other times in person, entire weekends due to the distance and he didn't know how to drive while I hate driving on highways.  We had some bondage gear so we did some play, he subbed and clearly really enjoyed it but domming him was only a little fun for me, and getting put in a straitjacket wasn't at all appealing for me.  After a couple months I realized that I did not find him attractive, maybe he could be a friend but he was too clingy and codependent on me to accept him as a partner.  But I kept the relationship up for months because he had a history of depression and I was worried he might kill himself if I dumped him.  After we spent a weekend together in July 2016 I told him we were breaking up, when he was done crying he sucked me off one last time, like he was trying to change my mind but it didn't work. We tried to remain just friends for six months after the break up.  We both went to that con again, though in separate rooms. At one point he asked me to tie him up, supposedly to help him calm down, but once he was bound he asked if we could get back in a dom/sub relationship, which I didn't think was a good idea and shot it down.  We went home and haven't seen each other since but he kept on calling me with his problems every few days, until one night I decided I couldn't deal with his bullshit that night and refused his call.  He then had a meltdown over text and was convinced that I was ending our friendship and unfollowed me on all the sites we were in contact on. Then, a couple weeks ago he started PMing me on FA again, asking if I wanted to be friends again.  But, he gave the impression that he was still carrying a torch for me, he offered to draw me a yiffy picture of my fursona as some sort of apology but I told him he didn't owe me anything as I blamed myself for not breaking it off before he got too attached to me.  A few days later he sent me another PM stating explicitly "Do you ever regret ending the friendship?"  That confused me as while I'd ended our romantic relationship, it seemed to me like he'd been the one to call off the friendship. But I don't think I can be friends with someone who's so clearly mooning over me, even though he denied it.  How do I tell him off without making him too upset at this point? Oh, and there's one last thing to consider, I'd never really been that interested in pursuing a relationship, when I saw him put up a journal asking if there were any gay doms in our state I answered mostly out of curiosity.  While he seems to have that notion that you need to have a partner to be complete, if I'd known that earlier I probably wouldn't have tried dating him in the first place.

  • Subject: Starting out - help!

    • Question / Message / Feedback: Hi guys! I am a mid 20s single pansexual female on the east coast.

    • I am a brand new listener! I heard Viro on Dan Savage's podcast and had to check you guys out because this is a new world for me! I've always found the eroticization of animal traits to be quite hot but I just felt shame for it and thought I was a freak until I heard Viro's love cast feature. I was vaguely aware of the furry community (I had a friend in high school who had a fursona and did cosplay stuff but I never asked her about it) and I didn't realize that there was a sexual component. I've listened to 2 of your podcasts so far and intend to listen to more, but I wanted to ask if there was a resource you could recommend to someone just getting interest in the Fandom? Or maybe you can recommend specific episodes of yours? Looking for info on what things mean (I was furiously Googling during the podcast), community etiquette, how to find partners willing to play with a beginner, free or reasonably priced furry porn, and anything else a curious beginner may need to know. Also, do any women mursuit? I realize that you are both gay men but I was a little disappointed that there was no info about mursuiting for women. Is it not a thing? In the previous episode you seemed to give inclusive advice on other things. Thanks so much!


  • Next week’s topic: Underwear and Sex Party Etiquette

  • Contact info

  • Other business

    • Patreon

      • Ms. Hyde Plug

        • I'm participating in a "Streak for Tigers" around London Zoo on the 10th of August. If you'd like to know how to support me running around the zoo naked and fundraising to protect tigers in the wild, then you can find details @HanacondaSparks on Twitter.

          • My fundraising page is: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/hanaconda

      • Snares Plug

        • New comic project "KAIJUICE: The Flavor is Buff"

          • Episodic releases each month, free-to-read. Patrons get early access & rewards.

          • Comic about kaijus, macrofurs and size growth

          • https://www.patreon.com/snares

        • One stop site for commission & artist info.

      • Zarpaulus Plug

        • If you're a fan of furry in high-tech sci-fi stories you might be interested in the Para-Imperium universe by Zarpaulus (www.paraimperium.wordpress.com).

          • He has recently published a short novel with Thurston Howl Press titled "The Pride of Parahumans", you can go check it out on Amazon

        • If you’re a fan of speculative-fiction, science fiction, or Starcraft you might enjoy Zarpaulus’s writing! Give it a look and consider becoming a patron of theirs at https://www.patreon.com/Zarpaulus

      • Myron

        • Twitter handle is @MyronTheFluffy

        • Feel free to follow me for pictures and my daily red panda-dog ramblings!

Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.