FA 075 All Questions Show Vol. 6

Introduction topic

  • Grindr Blog: Five obvious signs he's using you for sex

    • 1. He’s not befriending you on any social media.

    • 2. He’s not sending any “How was your day?” texts.

    • 3. You don’t go out together.

    • 4. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends.

    • 5. He only likes positions where you don’t look face-to-face.

    • ---- Viro’s Bonus Five ----

    • 6. He won’t kiss you

    • 7. He seems disinterested when you confide in him.

    • 8. He introduces you as a friend  or only uses your name

    • 9.  He doesn’t pass the “would help me move” test

    • 10. He literally tells you that’s what he’s doing.


Question 1

  • Subject: Love with unknown factors

    • Question / Message / Feedback: Recently, I have been doing babyfur themed RPs with a friend, usually with me in the caretaker position. It's one of the best things that's happened, as it's made me more open to others. But now, I think I might be falling in love with that friend. The tricky thing is, he's a bit of a reclusive type, and I don't know much about his viewpoints on relationships. I have seen evidence of him being single, and hoping for love, but that's all. I don't know if he's open to a relationship with another male, or a long-distance relationship (Me being British, and him American), or if he would consider us to have been friends for long enough. When I contemplate my feelings for him, I feel an even greater desire to be with him. I've never truly felt love for a real-life person, which makes me feel even more awkward, and it leaves me feeling so worried. I worry if I tell him, it might ruin our friendship, due to factors mentioned above. He is my truly best friend, and I don't know if I could live without him. I'm even worried about the prospect of 'just friends', due to the possibility of knowing that I want him, but won't be able to have him. Complicating matters is that I have an RP daddy, who has openly admitted to his crush on me. I wouldn't mind a relationship with him, but he's about 5 years younger than me (he's still in school), which would seem awkward, and I might end up feeling like I'm using him as a substitute. I also don't want to break his heart if the best friend were to accept a relationship with me. I don't think the best friend is someone who would be into open relationships. This whole scenario has me quite worried about how it could end up. Any and all help would be appreciated greatly

Question 2

  • Is it wrong not give people a chance on the basis of a gap (gulf, really) in perceived intelligence? I know from my experience with friends that significantly less intelligent people, even when they mean well, drain my patience and compassion, and I don't think it would make a healthy relationship, but I worry that I'm being too judgmental. (This doesn't apply to most people, just a few furs I've met over the years and also tonight.

Question 3

  • Subject: Trapped In Sub Space

    • Dear Feral Attraction,

    • First off I want to say thank you for this podcast, it has been a great help to me. I say this because I have kinda had to learn the hard way on most of my relationships, since I have been on my own since the age 18. I am 25 now, and boy have I been through a lot of bad relationships and I am super happy to have you guys to help explain this stuff me as I have been doing it all wrong. Getting into several bad D/s and poly relationships without the knowledge and experience I needed. After a few years of life and hardship, I have finally become stable enough in my opinion to seek out love again. There is a maned wolf that kinda stole my heart, and he is amazing and I have plans to finally have him visit, bought his plane ticket to visit me after we have been talking back and forth for a couple years on and off. He sadly lives on the other side of the country from me so it is expensive, and well I feel worth the money. He is special to me, because he is a geek like myself and he is also dominant. However, before even hearing of your podcast, he dropped books and knowledge on me making sure the D/s type relationships I had before were really what I wanted, and he has taken so much time to educate me. The meeting in person is our final step before we will decided if we should pursue this relationship. However, finally to the question now that you have all of the above information. I have become quite attached already to him, and it’s not that I can’t adult if he says no. I know if that does end up that we are not compatible I can move on. However, my issue is that I enter what I believe to be sub space and it is rough… I feel really submissive and want to do something with him even just simple typefucking as I heard both of you call it. However, he doesn’t really do that and states he doesn’t get anything out of being dominant towards me due to the distance. We both being fully happily poly and open in our relationship types, he suggests for me to go out and typefuck others to assist with it or just responds that he doesn’t know how to help me with this. The issue however, is that over all this time his dominance has rubbed off on me so much that I have a hard time getting the urge let alone wanting to have it met by someone other than him. I get stuck in loops some nights where I just really feel so submissive and just day dream the fuck out of just doing things for him. I am more service oriented and sex is nice, but not the big part of it for me. I get more out of my mate’s happiness and whatever I can do to make that happen, and currently I feel helpless. I was wondering if you could provide any advice for the maned wolf and this fox

Question 4

  • Subject:  People don't know what really happens behind the screen

    • Question / Message / Feedback: Hello, I have recently graduated high school, but during my time in school, I have observed something that really upsets me but seems to be very typical and I just do not know how to handle it, which has also led me to believe I'll be a single man forever. My problem is around the internet, people see me as a nice, maybe funny guy that loves to play video games and loves talking to people, which I do. However, on the non Internet world, I am sad, not only because my friends are hundreds to thousands of miles away, but when people actually see me, a very vast majority get disgusted by what they see, or they'll "befriend" Me and use me until I'm at the highest peak of being happy and I just get shattered to where I'll just return to my corner and shut everything out. I would like people online that care to understand, but I know if I say something I'll be that whiny bitch (sorry for my language) that no one wants to be by or with. My question is: What can I do without changing who or what I am to make people like me without myself having to worry?

Question 5

  • Subject

    • Hey guys! First, congratulations for you great work! It's amazing to learn such things from your columns and podcasts, as it's mind opening. I'd like to approach you guys with a problem I've had. I'm in a relationship with this girls who is great. Kinda shy, in her 20s and amazing overall. We've been dating for a year and a half. The problem is that, whenever we get intimate, I sometimes manage to get to the point where she says "stop." This leaves me feeling bad for getting carried away and for making it uncomfortable for her. She always tries to make me feel better about it saying that it's not a big deal, but it's no use. I end up feeling like, oh the irony, an animal. We know each other pretty good, I've always felt my feelings for her are stronger than hers for me. We haven't reached sex yet (we're both virgins, there's days I wish we would already) I'm also her first boyfriend.

    • Things that make her stop me are such cases like when I touch her legs too much or kiss her neck whenever she doesn't like it. The most we've done is second base, we have never seen each other naked or even shirtless. Makes me wonder if I'm corrupted sexually. Am I bad for breaking boundaries? Or are we different in a sexual aspect and will end up worse in the future? Thanks in advance to you guys, congrats on your amazing work


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Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.