FA 072 Outdoor Sex (and Other Thrills)

Introduction topic

  • An examination of sexting research study shows there’s nothing to worry about

    • “The researchers found 234 journal articles that looked at sexting, but then removed studies that didn't look at the relationship between sexting and behavior, as well as any studies that didn't include clearly defined quantitative measures of sexting or sexual behavior.”

    • “Ultimately, this process winnowed it down to 15 studies that looked at whether there was any link between sexting and: sexual activity; unprotected sex; and/or the number of sex partners one has. The researchers found that there was a weak statistical relationship between sexting and all of those categories -- and that was when looking solely at correlation. It was impossible to tell if sexting actually influenced behavior at all.”

    • “There's not even an agreed-upon definition for sexting. Does sexting consist only of sexually-oriented text messages? Does it include photos? Video? Definitions varied widely from paper to paper.”

    • "There are two take-home messages here," says Andrew Binder, co-author of the review and an associate professor of communication at NC State. "First is that sexting does not appear to pose a public health threat to America's youth -- so don't panic. Second, if this is something we want to study, we need to design better studies. For example, the field needs a common, clear definition of what we mean by sexting, as well as more robust survey questions and methods."

Topic

Exhbitionism / Public Sex

  • Why it’s awesome

  • Why it’s dangerous

    • Legality

  • Stories of us having public sex (because BOY HOWDY Metriko has a fun one)

Secret kink indulging

  • Example of “foot fetishist who works as a shoe salesman” as a mode of positive harnessing of kinks / fetishes

  • Never involve people unwillingly in your sex play

Bath houses and swingers bars / other “membership” sex clubs

  • STI discussion

  • Assumptions

  • Etiquette

Question(s)

  • Subject: The classic "what-does-that-fur-look-like-IRL" conundrum

    • Hey guys! So I've had this problem a few times with online dating or socializing. Particularly in furry since we hide our appearance behind a character. When I'm getting to know a fur online, as per the usual, it'll start out mild. At this point, I can understand that I should maybe ask or already know what they look like before deciding if I'm attracted to them and to proceed to flirting. But sometimes flirting just happens, because that's a ton of fun and irresistible, especially if the individual is on your level of humor, etc. As I'm sure you guys know. But how should we ask about physical appearance in this fandom, without being rude? Since simply asking may imply "if you're ugly, I won't want to talk to you" or alternately "if you're hot, all I want to do is use you." I'd like to be real here, I'm not a materialistic bigot. It's important to learn to love a potential partner who may not check all of the boxes for you, physically. But at the same time, checking NONE of the boxes changes things a lot, to put it politely. I think a lot of us can agree that a level of physical attraction (no matter your taste) is very important for proceeding into a relationship. So how do we go about obtaining this information (as well as sharing it about ourselves [since this problem goes both ways!]) to help make the decision? As always, thank you for running this show. It’s always a wild ride.

Closer

  • Next week’s topic: Short Term Relationships

  • Contact info

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Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.