FA 067 Sexuality and Gender Expression

Introduction topic

  • Sex Unleashes Your Tongue! (Sex motivates self-disclosure to a potential partner)

    • https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intimately-connected/201703/sex-unleashes-your-tongue

    • “possibility that activation of the sexual system affects the motivation to engage in non-sexual relationship-promoting behaviors”

    • Results revealed that merely thinking about sex, even without being aware of it, encouraged self-disclosure.

      • Subliminal priming

      • Naturalistic movie viewing

    • “Activation of the sexual system encourages self-disclosure, a strategy that allows people to become closer to a potential partner. Self-disclosure, in turn, further increases the desire for this partner and fosters relationship development.”

Topic

Sexuality and Gender Expression

On this special episode of Feral Attraction we have guest host Debra Soh! Debra is a sex researcher and neuroscientist who writes a weekly column for Playboy and has been published in several other outlets, from Scientific American to the LA Times to the Globe and Mail. You can read a separate interview that Debra had in Quillette earlier this year if you are more interested in her background.

As a sexologist, Debra focuses on why people have the sexual interests they have and if there is cause, neurologically, for there to be a predisposition (or even if these paraphilias are hard-wired into the brain). She discusses recent research and findings in these areas, as well as whether this can be applied to gender identity. We also discuss some of the more taboo paraphilias, including "cub" attraction within the fandom. 

Debra invites all listeners that have questions for her, or if you want to keep up with her recent publications, to visit her Twitter page.

We would like to thank Debra for coming on and sharing her expertise in this. To read more of her works, or to get into contact with her, please visit the following links:

http://www.playboy.com/authors/debra-w-soh

https://twitter.com/debra_soh

Question(s)

  • Subject: How do I get out of an online relationship with someone I’m not attracted to?

    • This is my first online relationship and I don't want to mess things up. I met him on the furry Amino and we hit it off pretty well. We chatted for a week before I decided to ask him out. He's a great guy, but there are some things about him that turn me off. He has some fetishes I don't share and I actually find some of them repulsing (things like scat, musk, and watersports). Also, we exchanged pictures of ourselves, and I didn't find him attractive. I'm also exclusively a bottom and I love letting my partner "take the reigns" so to speak, but he's half a foot shorter than me in height. I know that I'm judging based on physical traits, but to me these are huge things that I need in a relationship. Not to mention he's a bottom as well, so I don't think we're a good match sexually even without all of that. I know it's deplorable to stay in a relationship if you aren't in it for yourself, but he's so nice that I'd feel terrible if I left him. He's already been through a lot in the past month with his previous relationship ending with the other person ghosting him, and he even considered suicide because he thought they killed themself. I don't know if he'll be able to take it. This relationship will remain toxic to me AND him if I don't come clean with him. I know that he would probably be worse off if I led him on, but I can't bring myself to talk about these problems. I feel like my head is spinning when I try to figure out what to do, both sides constantly at war in my head. I have no idea what to do in this situation and I need some advice. If you think I should dump him I need some help with that too because I've always been on the receiving end of that and I don't know how to do it.

Closer

  • Next week’s topic: Disclosure

  • Contact info

  • Other business

    • Patreon

      • Snares Plug

        • patreon.com/snares for Meatier Showers

        • For amazing commissions by Snares, visit furaffinity.net/user/furious

      • Zarpaulus Plug

        • If you're a fan of furry in high-tech sci-fi stories you might be interested in the Para-Imperium universe by Zarpaulus (www.paraimperium.wordpress.com).

          • He has recently published a short novel with Thurston Howl Press titled "The Pride of Parahumans", you can go check it out on Amazon

        • If you’re a fan of speculative-fiction, science fiction, or Starcraft you might enjoy Zarpaulus’s writing! Give it a look and consider becoming a patron of theirs at https://www.patreon.com/Zarpaulus

      • Myron

        • Twitter handle is @MyronTheFluffy

        • Feel free to follow me for pictures and my daily red panda-dog ramblings!

Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.