FA 045 Dating and Spirituality

Feral  Attraction
Episode 045 - Dating & Spirituality 11/16




Dating Religious Furs

  • Being tolerant of belief

  • Knowing when to have conversations, and when a topic should be dropped

  • Striving for understanding, not conversion

  • Focus on what values and beliefs are shared (golden rule)

    • Empathy

    • Love

    • Charity

    • Kindness

Dating Non-Religious Furs

  • Don’t try to convert them

    • They aren’t broken

  • Be open to having difficult conversations with them. And you may not always come to an agreement

  • It’s ok to ask them to come to church with you, or to let you pray for them, but that shouldn’t be an expectation

  • You are allowed to have boundaries...but make sure they are reasonable

Spirituality, Ethics, and Sexuality

  • Many popular world religions are sex-negative

  • Difficult to reconcile non-traditional relationships with many religions, particularly homosexual and non-monogamous relationships

  • Religious stigma

    • Jesus never “cured” a fag

    • A lot of furs have been outcast by the church

    • Don’t be afraid to be religious...but you don’t need to argue with everyone about it

    • Homophobes use the Bible wrongly to justify their screwed up beliefs. It is important to understand that their flawed views shouldn’t affect yours.


  • Individuals who come from a near-closed religious background (Orthodox Judaism, Mormonism, etc…) can often struggle with relationships with other individuals who do not share that background

    • This can often be amplified when it comes to non-monogamy/homosexual relationships and understanding/acceptance

  • If you are ex-religious

    • Be patient with yourself

    • Explain your background to potential partners. Don’t make it a source of shame, but just give them understanding on areas you might struggle in

    • You can adapt your religious ethics and morals into your religious life, but don’t allow for them to dictate your relationships

  • If you are dating someone who is ex-religious

    • Be affirming at times that your partner is a good person, especially if their break from the church was recent

    • Have open and honest discussions about your own integrity, morals, and ethics

    • In times of crisis, be there for your partner, especially if they were excommunicated/disowned by their religious family

    • If they are still in contact with their family, do not allow for their religious values to dictate your relationship, nor for them to be abusive.

      • Many times, kids of hyper-religious parents feel incapable of advocating for themselves when being criticized by their parents, regardless of age

      • Emotional boundaries


  • How to be more vocal in bed?

    • Question / Message / Feedback: Hi guys, really loving the podcast it's been helping make my long commutes much more enjoyable. I have a question and I was hoping your collective experience could maybe help. When I have sex I'm really quiet save for the odd grunts but generally don't make much noise. It's not that I don't want to be vocal but I guess I feel like I'll just sound silly, other people (neighbors on all sides and I have thin walls) will hear, I'll just kill the mood, etc... My partners are somewhat vocal though, but I guess I just feel almost 'held back' by my own anxieties/insecurities. Do you guys have any advice to turn up the volume in my bedroom?

  • I want some one-on-one time with a potential mate, and it’s making my current mate sad

    • So I need advice badly. I have a mate who lives about 40 minutes from me. A potential mate is coming from a city much further away to visit me and wants to see where things go. My nearby mate insists he wants to spend all the time with us and even sexually but my friend from farther away is rather shy and anxious and only wants to spend some time with me right now. My mate thinks I’m being unfair but I’m just trying to make sure he’s taken care of and doesn’t feel overwhelmed. My mate keeps accusing me of picking favorites but I’m not. I want alone time with someone to see where things go. Is that so bad?


  • Next week’s topic: Monogamous Relationships

  • Contact info (Telegram group, Twitter, Contact page, etc)

  • Other business

    • Snares Plug

    • Zarpaulus Plug

      • If you're a fan of furry in high-tech sci-fi stories you might be interested in the Para-Imperium universe by Zarpaulus (www.paraimperium.wordpress.com).

      • The short is that humanity created human-animal hybrids called "Parahumans" to mine the asteroid belt, they rebelled and fled the solar system, and then Earth was destroyed by alien robots. The parahuman colonies laid low for about a thousand years, then Alpha Centauri developed post-scarcity economics, stargates, and immortality.  Afterwards they proceeded to conquer the other colonies and have expanded outwards ever since.

      • Same-sex relationships and polyamory are accepted without a second thought in the "civilized" universe.

      • Visit Zarpaulus’s Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/Zarpaulus

Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.