Episode 037 - Sex Toys 101 09/21
Only half of your friends actually like you, study reveals (https://goo.gl/yTeJL8)
Friendships are not as mutual as one would think
Study of 84 subjects taking a business management class together, age 23 to 38 conducted by researchers at MIT
Study found that only about 50 percent of friendships are truly mutual, with liking each other reciprocated, going both ways
94 percent of participants expected their friendship to be reciprocated; only 53 percent of them actually were
“Perception gap when it comes to friendship hints at a number of pretty significant problems, from our inability to clearly define friendship and the impact this could have on our own self-image”
“we’ve got social media pushing friendship as a commodity, which is pretty much the exact opposite of how you’re supposed to think of them.”
“While 150 is the maximum number of social relationships the average human can maintain with any degree of stability, we're only able to maintain a mere five close friendships at a time.”
Go for glass
If you go for a plug, try a gradual taper with a fairly widely flanged base
Too small a flange-to-neck ratio will risk slippage
Go for silicone
Start small, but not too small (think 6-7in in length, 1-1.5in width)
example : https://amzn.com/B00KVJ1YMS
Go for silicone
Is more for clitoral stimulation, but can be used anally if desired
While warming elements can be fun, avoid this if you are going for anal play as it can be uncomfortable
Go for a cordless, rechargeable type
Avoid cheaper brands as they can break or overheat, potentially causing harm
Use a type that has multiple vibration settings for maximum pleasure
Great for LDR or for kinky play throughout the day
While these can be worn for extended periods, be mindful of your body if you feel you’re in pain after a longer period of usage
If wearing in public, be mindful of responsible play in public areas and do not expose unwilling participants into your sex play practices
Go for a sleeve that fits snugly around your cock and secures comfortable around your balls
Go for silicone, as you want it to be flexible and not tear up the insides of whomever you are penetrating
Harnesses + Dildos : Pegging
Restrict flow of blood from an erect penis, resulting in a firmer, potentially longer lasting erection and can also delay orgasm
Start silicone, as it is far less expensive, especially when you first start sizing yourself, and has a bunch of a stretch
Each individual will have a different size for a cock ring (you are looking for one that is tight enough to limit the flow of blood to and from the penis, not restrict it entirely)
By getting multiple sizes (many kits will contain three-five different sizes for beginners), you can determine the best fit for you.
You should not put on a cock ring with an erection. While soft, first insert your balls through the ring, then pull your flaccid penis through
To take off, ideally you are soft and reverse the above process. Push your penis through the cock ring and then untuck your testicles one by one.
Do not wear a cock ring for too long, as it can result in a priapism which can cause severe long term damage to your junk
(Priapism is when you experience an erection for longer than six hours and have to seek medical help. Treatment options are NOT fun.)
Various fandom products
Fuck a fox butt!
Where to Buy
10 percent bleach solution
15 to 30 minutes
Keep boxes / containers toys came in
Consider using repurposing shoe boxes
Reuse old boxes if you are trying to keep things discrete
Graphics card boxes are a good size!
JO H2O (Water-Based Lubricant)
Don’t sleep with a small toy in
Don’t release your grip on any insertable without a flanged base
Don’t use silicone lube with silicone toys
Don’t use toys with rough edges or toys labeled “novelty use only”
Don’t go from ass to vagina without cleaning, or use condoms
Don’t transfer toy from one partner to another without cleaning or using a condom
Question on how to handle being rejected romantically by one’s metamour
Five years ago I met my little dragon who I love very much. It started as just an online thing. But soon I feel for him. He was in an abusive relationship married to someone so at first I stayed his very close friend and soon became his lover as he was in an open relationship with his abusive husband. After a year or more he finally got away from his husband and moved down to PA from Canada. After he finally got divorced, after our first year being together IRL as mates, he brought in a friend who was only supposed to be a friend. It sadly didn't end that way; the snake ended up being a lover to my mate and after a failed attempt at a sudden threesome it was hard to deal with him, and when I finally got the nerves to ask the snake out or to try and be something other than his metamour I was rejected. After all this I still love my dragon and I am still trying to be open and work things out. But now it is a bit unfair I think that he has me and another but the other has no interest in me… and after more time he moved to Cali with snake… yet he says it is to start a life out there and he wants me and still loves me. I feel a bit left out and left behind. I’m open to things and new to a lot of this, yet I have been a pet in a shitty and abusive relationship myself. I really want things to work out as I love him very much and I don't wanna lose him but I want to know what's fair and right. I guess my lover has friends all around who care for him quite a lot, and sexual things to my dragon and the snake are not like with me, more a hippie standpoint about loving everyone. I’m a bit at a loss about what to do and I don't wanna seem like I’m always complaining or bitching at my mate… I just miss being hugged… leaning against him and holding him close to hear his breath and beating heart… I’d give anything for it to work but I’m unsure what is fair or not.
Question on not seeing the value of relationships
I've heard that relationships can be very fulfilling, but I have never experienced one. However, I remember being perfectly happy before my first crush hit. Given the many difficulties discussed below, is it even worth it to put energy into looking for a relationship or should I plan on staying single and focus on other areas of my life? As a well educated young professional, I feel cautious about opening up to other furries because I know that many are minimum wage warriors. I realize that it sounds conceited, but I don't want anyone to feel bad and I'm afraid I'll be taken advantage of or guilted into paying for things because my friends know I have disposable income. On the other hand, It's difficult to talk about anything except work because it takes up so much of my life, so that I have much less free time than my friends. I also feel cautious about opening up to non-furries because I don't want to be outed as a furry at work. To make things even more complicated, I might be demisexual, which means I am incapable of having casual encounters. I can't judge whether a person is attractive without a considerable time investment. And to make matters worse, I'm stealth trans, so there is a mandatory and material trust investment anytime sex is involved. Will I go back to normal after this crush fades or is this a permanent "awakening"? Given that relationships can be hit or miss, is the average benefit from experiencing it at least once worth the risk? If I want to consider a relationship, how could I go about looking in a way that keeps both my trans status and my furry status out of public knowledge and away from my workplace? Feel free to address portions of this question publicly if relevant. I realize it is rather complicated. Thank you for your time.
Question on struggling with being the third in an established couple
I am currently in a relationship with two amazing guys, to put things into context I had a crush on both of them even though we had never met and well this when i confessed I got told they were in a relationship, however after about three months (I am just going to refer to them as F and L to protect innocents) F said that they had come to say they are for me and that they wouldn't mind, fast forward to the present day and there have been problems, we have talked them out but it's the latest two issues which have got me. The first one is they are away occasionally and I know it's the most self-centred thing but I feel so lonely when they aren't there and it's difficult to stay happy for my family who have no idea about any of this, secondly L doesn't know if he wants this he isn't sure and it's his choice what happens although F wishes to have me there. I have said I will go with whatever L say cause they have been a couple for three years and I only joined last year but I feel scared to lose them even though I agreed to not be their pet of L was uncomfortable. I don't know what to do and because I am too shy and a total introvert (taking me every ounce of courage to share this) and cause I don't want to make things worse I can't talk to them about this... Any advice would be greatly appreciated?
Subject: Regarding the use of toys in the bedroom
Question / Message / Feedback: My fiancé and I have quite a collection of toys (metal, silicone, glass) so I’d like to think we have a very fun and varied bedroom experience. I thought I might share some advice that we have found as we’ve added new flops and new favorites to our collection.
• Take turns picking out toys on websites and talking with your partner what you like about that toy, and what you would like to try with it.
• Use the toys as warm-up when a penis might be too much to take right from the start
• Give your partner a show and tease them by playing with the toys before them. Bonus points if you’re into bondage and can tie them up and make them wait their turn.
• Did your partner get off before you? Use a toy to finish yourself off, or have your partner help finish you off. Life isn’t porn, so you can’t expect to climax at the same time as your partner (s) every time.
• If you are uncomfortable with multiple people in the bedroom, Penetration or other sex acts that require more equipment than you have been graced with (like double penetration) a toy can be a great substitute.
• Try out toys with different shapes and textures, you never know what might hit just right and really get you aroused.
• Lube, lube, lube. Always check that the lube you are using will work with the toy you are using. Silicone lube will not work with a silicone toy.
I hope this helps. Thank you guys for having such a great podcast, it’s been fun listening to the questions and advice each episode.
With much love from a snow leopard and a wolf
Next week’s topic: Our First All Questions Show!