Episode 025 - Kinks After Dark 06/29
Is BDSM total power exchange ever a valid relationship structure, or are submissives in total power exchange relationships mentally ill?
“The results mostly suggest favorable psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners compared with the control group; BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, [and] had higher subjective well-being.”
“If marriage and power of attorney are valid relationships when entered into consensually, it follows that a BDSM power exchange relationship is equally valid and not deserving of public censure.”
“You think I’m trapped in my Master’s cage, and yes, that is true. However, it is important for you to realize that this cage is one that I designed for myself, and it is very comfortable for me. Aside from that, I hold the keys to this cage, and I can let myself out if I need to. So, at the end of the day, am I really being caged at all?”
Articles we have written on this topic:
After Dark Episode
What exactly is Sub Space?
Subspace is a metaphor for the state of a submissive’s mind and body that allows the submissive to separate mentally from the environment during the scene / experience they are in.
Subspace often requires high levels of trust, as it can be difficult to withdraw consent while in subspace.
The Dom Styles of Metriko and Viro
etriko is more of a physical dominant
Viro is more of a mental dominant
What is Aftercare?
Aftercare is the time after a scene or play session when recovery happens. You take the time to reconnect both parties to reality and make sure that everyone is okay with what happened. In cases of intense emotional or psychological scene play, it is important to ensure everyone is able to unwind and recover. You ensure everyone is physically and mentally safe. It’s also important that the level of respect, care, affection, and love is re-established and that value is re-established, especially in scenes where humiliation / degradation plays a part
Sometimes referred as “debriefing”
Should be heavily negotiated before entering any scene play
Metriko recommends a drink of water as the first part of aftercare! Stay hydrated with water, despite the other fluids that might have been transferred in the scene
What is Sounding?
Sounding is the insertion of a rod into your urethral tract (oftentimes some form of medical grade steel or metal)
This is a “varsity level” kink and should not be attempted without proper research
Start small, work larger
Not something Viro or Metriko are into, but it is A-OK! Just seek out experts in sounding to get information and education
Don’t vanilla shame! Just because someone does not share the more extreme kinks you might have does not mean they are “bad”. Vanilla sex is awesome and lots of people never explore kink and have happy, fulfilling sex lives
Just because something isn’t your kink doesn’t mean you should shut down in your conversation!
Oh hey it’s an AUDIO QUESTION!
I was in a relationship with a monogamous guy and he said it’s okay for me to have a girlfriend as well because I am pan. Can this work or is this doomed to fail?
Next week’s topic: How to Live Life for Yourself: The Power of Fuck You