FA 024 Kink Fantasy vs Reality

Feral  Attraction
Episode 024 - Kink Fantasy vs Reality 06/22


  • Article on "What Furries Can Teach Us About Sex in the Kinky, Avatar-Filled Virtual Future"

    • Some important quotes from the article:

      • "monogamy is hard to define when sex becomes a creative act or a means of sharing a fantasy”

      • “In the future, sex will be less about who you and your partner(s) are, and more about what you’re able to create for each other, either through roleplay or the simulation of an experience."

      • “Many furries are already attuned to this conception of sensuality, because they have to create a shared fantasy with their partners in order to fully enjoy sex with each other and project their imagined identity into the fun.”

      • “Furry porn endeavors toward emotional narratives”

      • “The more porn you watch, the less you care about the variables which lead up to having sex — foreplay, courting, negotiation, teasing. Furry pornography and virtual sex both exist very solidly in an emotional context, and both will preserve those things”


Venn Diagram of IRL kinks and Fantasy-only kinks

  • Consider setting up two “characters” on F-list, one for IRL kinks and one for fantasy/RP/online-only kinks

  • Mental Kink does not always translate to Physical Kink

    • The theater of the mind can be powerful

  • Some online kinks do not translate at all into IRL

    • Vore

    • TF

    • Inflation

    • Anthro/feral play

    • Tailsex

  • Some kinks could work IRL, but don’t interest you that way, for reasons of safety or other reasons

    • Breathplay

    • Impregnation

    • Breeding

    • Feeder/gainer

    • Rape

    • Cub play

How to get into IRL kink from online kink

  • Take it slow (safe, sane, consensual)

    • Safe words

      • MULTIPLE safe words and actions or gestures, depending on the type of play you are engaged in

    • Build trust over time

    • Try not to have first kink experiences with kink-inexperienced partners

  • If with a more vanilla partner, try to enjoy vanilla first, introduce kink gradually over time.

    • Roll out as a positive “we get to” rather than a negative "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but there's this thing I like to do ____"

  • It is possible to simulate online kinks IRL that normally wouldn’t be possible

    • Inflation suits (for inflato furs / gainers)

    • Pregnancy pads (for mpreg)

    • Fursuits (for anthro)

How to back away from a kink you’ve expressed interest in

  • Don’t be afraid to tell a partner a kink isn’t working for you

    • “This is really hot for me to fantasize about, but when I do it, it isn’t so pleasurable for me.”

    • Keep room for renegotiation for scene play and harder kinks like D/s

      • Don’t sign a contract you aren’t willing to fulfill

  • Do plenty of research into kinks before engaging to ensure you understand how to “do” it

    • Sometimes if you make a mistake in kink play (hypnosis, BDSM, etc…) it can sour your taste, so find experts or people who know the ropes to ask questions before engaging in the play


  • So, I’m having a strange problem with my online power exchange relationships. I am something of a switch, and enjoy being submissive at times and dominant at others. I have both a Master and a pet. I recently found out that my pet also has a pet… and his pet is my Master! None of us planned this, but now I’m really confused on how we should handle this. Are we involved in a polyamorous relationship? Is anything wrong with this arrangement, or do you think it is okay to keep it going?

    • Received anonymously via feedback form


  • Next week’s topic: Our After Dark Episode!  

Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.