Episode 024 - Kink Fantasy vs Reality 06/22
Some important quotes from the article:
"monogamy is hard to define when sex becomes a creative act or a means of sharing a fantasy”
“In the future, sex will be less about who you and your partner(s) are, and more about what you’re able to create for each other, either through roleplay or the simulation of an experience."
“Many furries are already attuned to this conception of sensuality, because they have to create a shared fantasy with their partners in order to fully enjoy sex with each other and project their imagined identity into the fun.”
“Furry porn endeavors toward emotional narratives”
“The more porn you watch, the less you care about the variables which lead up to having sex — foreplay, courting, negotiation, teasing. Furry pornography and virtual sex both exist very solidly in an emotional context, and both will preserve those things”
Venn Diagram of IRL kinks and Fantasy-only kinks
Consider setting up two “characters” on F-list, one for IRL kinks and one for fantasy/RP/online-only kinks
Mental Kink does not always translate to Physical Kink
The theater of the mind can be powerful
Some online kinks do not translate at all into IRL
Some kinks could work IRL, but don’t interest you that way, for reasons of safety or other reasons
How to get into IRL kink from online kink
Take it slow (safe, sane, consensual)
MULTIPLE safe words and actions or gestures, depending on the type of play you are engaged in
Build trust over time
Try not to have first kink experiences with kink-inexperienced partners
If with a more vanilla partner, try to enjoy vanilla first, introduce kink gradually over time.
Roll out as a positive “we get to” rather than a negative "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but there's this thing I like to do ____"
It is possible to simulate online kinks IRL that normally wouldn’t be possible
Inflation suits (for inflato furs / gainers)
Pregnancy pads (for mpreg)
Fursuits (for anthro)
How to back away from a kink you’ve expressed interest in
Don’t be afraid to tell a partner a kink isn’t working for you
“This is really hot for me to fantasize about, but when I do it, it isn’t so pleasurable for me.”
Keep room for renegotiation for scene play and harder kinks like D/s
Don’t sign a contract you aren’t willing to fulfill
Do plenty of research into kinks before engaging to ensure you understand how to “do” it
Sometimes if you make a mistake in kink play (hypnosis, BDSM, etc…) it can sour your taste, so find experts or people who know the ropes to ask questions before engaging in the play
So, I’m having a strange problem with my online power exchange relationships. I am something of a switch, and enjoy being submissive at times and dominant at others. I have both a Master and a pet. I recently found out that my pet also has a pet… and his pet is my Master! None of us planned this, but now I’m really confused on how we should handle this. Are we involved in a polyamorous relationship? Is anything wrong with this arrangement, or do you think it is okay to keep it going?
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Next week’s topic: Our After Dark Episode!