FA 007 Love Yourself

Feral  Attraction
Episode 007 Love Yourself 02/24

Intro (0:00:30)

  • We had to record this episode twice

Topic LOVE YOURSELF (0:02:00)

If you want to love other people you need to love yourself first (0:04:00)

  • Internal locus of control (0:04:04)

    • To conquer oneself is to conquer all

    • Don’t let others determine your life

    • Be responsible for your own self

  • Develop a positive explanatory style (0:06:35)

    • When bad things happen to you don’t view them as being revealing intrinsic faults in yourself; view them as temporary setbacks you can overcome. View good things that happen to you as reflective of your own self-worth.

  • Don’t obsess over the destination, focus on the journey (0:13:55)

    • Keep moving forward

    • Change can be slow, excruciating, aggravating, and can hurt

    • Enjoy the process, don’t focus on the end result

    • Replace “I have to” with “I get to”

Accepting Yourself (0:22:50)

  • Being comfortable in your own skin (0:24:00)

    • Be willing to be real/vulnerable with others

    • Don’t hide behind a mask

      • If you let people fall in love with a fake version of you, when the real you shows up the relationship will probably end

    • Be yourself, not what you think other people want you to be. 

      • Followers/Subscribers do not constitute self-worth

  • Self-image issues (0:36:00)

    • How you look

      • Body image issues, societal pressures to look a certain way, inadequacy to former partners/porn stars/models/etc…

      • Fashion choices, hair choices, jewelry/tattoos/etc...

    • How you sound

      • Lisps, impediments, accents

      • Sounding “smart”

Allowing others to accept you (0:55:00)

  • Accepting Compliments and shit (0:55:30)

  • Believing other people care about you (1:01:30)

    • Trusting other people

      • Don’t feel guilty when people make investments in you

        • Don’t take advantage of people if feelings are not mutual

      • Allow yourself to be vulnerable with people who care about you

        • You will probably fart in front of your partner

Don’t overdo it (1:21:15)

  • Don’t overinflate your ego

  • Don’t trade up on friends  

  • Don’t treat people like things or a stepping stone to furthering your own agenda

Question(s) (1:27:00)

  • Is polyamory a choice or does it represent an inability to commit to one person? (anonymous)

Closer (1:41:10)

  • Next week’s topic: Owning Your Shit / self-knowledge / apologies

Metriko Oni

Metriko Oni is a former government environmental disaster mitigations expert with a focus on outreach, education, and policy writing. He now works with computers. He has been active in the fandom since 2013 and has been an advocate for transparent lines of communication. His interests include philosophy, media, futurism, and speculative fiction.