polyamory

FA 070 Drugs and Alcohol

We open this week's show with a discussion on radical honesty. We look at a Buzzfeed video where couples experiment with being totally honest with one another and, after cutting through the crap of the video, talk about ways you can implement some of the ideas they have in your own life and relationships.

Our main topic is on drugs and alcohol. Within the fandom there is a heavy focus on individuals being inebriated or high, and many such activities are praised or sought after as being inclusive in the fandom as a whole. We talk about why this is not optimal for your life or for relationships, how drugs and alcohol have impacted our life (positively and negatively), and offer some advice to new members of the fandom. 

It's important to note that if you struggle with substance abuse, please seek help as soon as possible.

We close out this week's show with a question whether it is a good idea to re-establish a friendship with a former partner who might still be carrying a torch for you. Should you proceed with caution, or snuff out that flame?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 056 Rebuilding Trust (After Betrayal)

We open this week's show with a discussion on poppers and eyesight damage. No, we're not talking about jalapeño poppers, but the kind of poppers you huff (if you huff jalapeño poppers please let us know). Known as VCR Cleaner, Tape Cleaner, or Leather Cleaner, this is a commonly encountered additive to sex that many people enjoy, and it is not well researched in terms of consequences to your long-term health. We look at one investigation that links damage to your vision to the usage of poppers and add another reason to consider carefully your choice to include them in your play.

Our main topic is on rebuilding trust in a relationship after a betrayal, cheating, or a rule violation. Relationships are never perfect and mistakes happen, but how to move beyond that mistake is not often discussed and it is consistently one of our more commonly asked questions. We look into this area of relationship healing and offer advice to both the offender and the hurt, as well as provide looks into our lives when we have been put on either side of this situation.

We close out this week's show with a discussion on love. What is love? Am I in love? What's love got to do with it? These are questions that singers and sages have asked for years but have yet to provide an answer. We hope to help one of our listeners figure out whether or not they are in love with their best friend and, if so, should they pop the question. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 055 Self-Care during Jealousy and Breakups

On this week’s show we open with a discussion on whether or not apps like Tinder or Grindr have changed what people consider the “right” number of sexual partners when considering you as a potential mate. We look at an article in Playboy by Debra Soh that delves into the Goldilocks-zone of sexual partners.

Our main topic is on Self-Care during Jealousy, and Breakups. In relationships, whether monogamous or polyamorous, closed or open, we are all bound to experience bouts of jealousy. We discuss tips and tools to employ to help get over your jealousy in a relationship to ensure that you handle yourself in a healthy, non-violent fashion. We also look at the end of a relationship and how to take care of yourself and promote closure and moving forward when you go through a breakup.

We close out the show with a question on how to approach a friend who has fallen in love with you. Should you ask them whether or not they like you or like-like you, or is it best to say nothing in an attempt to maintain the current relationship status quo?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 052 Commitment vs. Autonomy

We open this week's show with a discussion on how self-control is just you empathizing with your future self. We look at an article that discusses your brain (with words that Metriko barely can pronounce) and how empathy and self-control are merely two sides of the same coin. It's an interesting lead in because-

Our main topic is commitment vs. autonomy in a relationship. As a relationship develops and becomes long-term, partners often struggle with balancing how to maintain their independence without sacrificing intimacy in the relationship. We discuss the definitions, pitfalls, and tribulations that are often encountered in such encounters, and ways that you can work to help stabilize your relationship. It's a real romp of a topic and one to get 2017 off with a running start!

Our closing question is from a bisexual guy who has issues emotionally connecting with ladies and problems performing anal sex with men. Is he doomed to be a straight player or is this just latent homophobia? We unpack this question and offer some less accusatory answers to his questions.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 048 Pack House Dynamics

We open this week's show with a discussion on why polyamory (or open relationships, really) are not for everyone. We discuss a YouTube Video which goes through this discussion in a fun, informative way, and we think that if you enjoy the show you would enjoy the video. Give it a watch after the show HERE.

Our main topic is on Pack Houses. We break down why that might be the wrong question to ask, as well as detail just what a communal house is, how they are structured, and how you can cohabitate in an intentional community. One of the most commonly asked questions of the show is how can one find a polyamorous house to live in, and we address why pack houses are less a random roommate on Craigslist and actually a relationship that you are entering.

We close out the show with two questions: one on BDSM Anxiety and the other on Long Distance Polyamory.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 032 Anal Sex 101

We open this week's show with a discussion about whether or not having sex is a determining factor in your relationship's success. Does frequent sex lead to a deeper, more meaningful relationship? We answer this with science.

Our main topic is on Anal Sex. Many individuals across every gender and sexual preference spectrum imaginable have asked us on how to have anal in a way that is pleasurable and accessible. This episode is geared towards beginners to anal sex-- maybe you're a straight male interested in getting pegged for the first time, or you're a female who just really enjoys the idea of anal but have no idea how to get started. We demystify this with the help of our resident bottom, Koji!

We have a series of questions, ranging from questions about anal to questions about relationships in a pack house. It's a panel of questions you don't want to miss!

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 027 Body Image and Self-Love

We open our show with our Anthrocon interview with Nuka, from the International Anthropomorphic Research Program. It's about 25 minutes long and super fascinating and touches on topics ranging from Gender, Sexuality, and Relationships in the furry fandom. If you would like to read a transcript, please refer to our Transcript in our Advice Column. Thanks again, Nuka, and we look forward to your upcoming papers!

Our main topic is on Body Image and Self-Love. This can be an incredibly difficult area for a lot of people, especially furries. We get told that we are either too thin, too fat, too muscular, or in some cases too short or tall to take seriously. While furry has been able to fetishize a lot of what makes us different and our bodies unique, when it comes to interactions in person there can be a lot of self-consciousness about how we look. 

A lot of people find they are not their 'ideal' body size, and for some they struggle to change this. As a podcast with someone who is chubby, someone who was once chubby, and someone who has been told is too thin, we wanted to express how you can love yourself regardless of the size. We go into the health side, the mental side, and ways you can work to lose weight, gain weight, and stand tall when people make fun of you for your size. 

As always, we are not medical professionals and, before embarking on a health adventure, take the time to consult a doctor to ensure your plan will be sustainable for you. Also, you're amazing, no matter your size, shape, or anything else. 

We close out the show with a question on pet play, polyamory, and the renegotiation period in a D/s relationship. What can a pup do when they struggle with jealousy?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 026 Living For Yourself

We open tonight's episode with a discussion about the Pope. Why does everyone seem to like this Pope, and what exactly did he mean when he told reporters that Christians should apologize? We rely on Viro, our resident recovering Catholic, to break the secret code and tell us why we should care, or if this is just false hope from the Pope!

Our main topic is on how to Live For Yourself. Really, though, this episode is about the power of telling other people to fuck off. As you can imagine, this episode contains adult language, so enjoy. 

We discuss various strategies you can employ to ensure that people stop having control over your life and, really, why should you care what that stranger on the bus thinks about you? We talk science, philosophy, and butts on this exciting, casual episode of self-empowerment and profanity!

Our listener question for the week is about whether you can be polyamorous but only want to have sexual contact with your primary. We talk a bit about non sexual significant others and what that can mean for you! 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 011 Online and Long Distance Relationships

Online Relationships and Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) have become a staple of the fandom due to our massive presence online. Most furries will, at one point or another, enter into some kind of a relationship that is non-local. 

How do you begin such a relationship, or maintain it once it is underway? What is the difference between an Online Relationship and a Long Distance Relationship? How do you set reasonable expectations for the relationship? What is the best way to keep intimacy regular when you might be continents apart? 

We also answer the question of whether you need a primary partner in order to be polyamorous. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 007 Loving Yourself

On this week's episode we tackle the tricky topic (try saying that five times fast!) of how to love yourself. This can be difficult, especially in the fandom where many people struggle with positive self-identity. We talk about why it's important to start here before getting into a relationship, and we also talk about how to ensure you don't take it too far and end up a narcissist. 

Note:  We are aware of the small audio issue around 0:31:00 into the episode, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do there and hopefully it does not detract too much from your enjoyment. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 005 Integrity

This week we talk about Integrity. While much of what we say is, again, common sense, it is important to discuss the ethics of the furry community and how we, as a fandom, can be better to each other. Also, we answer the question of what it is like to live in a Pack House. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 003 Non-Monogamous Furry Relationships 101

While this might seem like a review of previous episodes, this is a presentation of Viro the Science Collie's workshop at ANE2016 (and future cons) for those who are unable to attend. You can find the actual presentation under the "Presentations" page of our website.

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 002 Nonviolent Communication

This episode focuses on the various nonviolent communication strategies you can employ in your relationships. We also take a listener question on the practicality of long-distance polyamorous relationships.

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 001 Relationship Structures

On this episode we discuss relationship terminology: what are the different types of relationship structures found commonly in the fandom? Also, how do you handle jealousy in a relationship?

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.