jealousy

FA 096 Cuckolding and Hotwifeing

We open this week's show with a discussion of social media and health. During the end of the year it can be a time of social anxiety and depression, especially for those of us encountering the cold, dark, winter months. We talk about a recent study that shows how social media can be used as a means of finding support but cautions about what can happen when that support becomes your sole means of communication.

Our main topic this week is on Cuckholding and Hotwifeing. While you might refer to Hotwifeing as Hothusbanding or Hotspousing, we tend to use Hotwifeing but mean it in a neutral fashion. We talk about the differences between Cuckholding and Hotwifeing, how to safely and sanely get involved in either, and what the ultimate risks for this kink are. We also touch on the fun part of "why do people enjoy humiliation". This is a fun discussion about an often ridiculed and misunderstood portion of the kink community with serious undertones of the dangerous elements involved when you introduce a bull into the china shop that is your relationship.

We close out the show with a question on selfishness: our questioner is worried and feels guilty whenever they act in selfishness in their relationship. Should they be more selfless, or is there a way to practice ethical selfishness without turning into Ayn Rand?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 059 Handling Arguments at Conventions

We open this week's show with a discussion on STIs in New York City. Over the past three decades STIs have been on the rise while funding has remained stagnant. We look at factors as to why and ask the ultimate question: why is sexual health not considered to be recession proof?

Our main topic is on handling arguments at conventions. We discuss the common arguments, causes for arguments, and ways to avoid arguing with loved ones at conventions. We also approach the topic of former lovers, jilted exes, and friends who might have issues with you and how to handle confrontation (or even break ups) while at one of the most public of venues we as a fandom encounter.

We close out this week's show with a question on how to handle rejection. In a search for Mister Right, how can you handle being told no repeatedly or being matched with guys that just are not compatible? Should the expectations be adjusted, or is it perhaps too narrow a net is being cast? We discuss realism, optimism, and pessimism and how to appropriately set expectations.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 055 Self-Care during Jealousy and Breakups

On this week’s show we open with a discussion on whether or not apps like Tinder or Grindr have changed what people consider the “right” number of sexual partners when considering you as a potential mate. We look at an article in Playboy by Debra Soh that delves into the Goldilocks-zone of sexual partners.

Our main topic is on Self-Care during Jealousy, and Breakups. In relationships, whether monogamous or polyamorous, closed or open, we are all bound to experience bouts of jealousy. We discuss tips and tools to employ to help get over your jealousy in a relationship to ensure that you handle yourself in a healthy, non-violent fashion. We also look at the end of a relationship and how to take care of yourself and promote closure and moving forward when you go through a breakup.

We close out the show with a question on how to approach a friend who has fallen in love with you. Should you ask them whether or not they like you or like-like you, or is it best to say nothing in an attempt to maintain the current relationship status quo?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 042 Empathy

We open this week's show with a discussion on ways to make your polyamorous relationship more sustainable. When couples make the switch from a monogamous to a polyamorous relationship, many face feelings of fear, jealousy, and anger. We discuss an article written by one such individual and the ways that he and his partners worked through those feelings to find relationship stability and bliss.

Our main topic is on empathy. Much like our previous episode on Envy versus Jealousy, many people often use sympathy and empathy interchangeably. We discuss the differences between the two before diving into why empathy matters in your life and your relationship. Empathy forms one of the core foundations upon which a relationship stands-- too much and you find yourself burning out, too little and your partner might seek elsewhere to find emotional support. We look into how you can use empathy in a way to resolve conflicts in a non-violent fashion, and how empathy can reinforce your emotional boundaries and integrity. We also discuss the levels of empathy that we experience and ways that we have had to either raise or lower that level to keep our relationship going. 

We close this week with a question about the appropriate speed one should explore their sexual interests, especially if they are experiencing their "gay teens" later on in life. We talk safety, responsibility, and how to keep Grindr from becoming more important than your friends. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 019 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

On this week's podcast we open with a discussion on why you might be experiencing poor sleep when you are in a new environment. Is it just anxiety, excitement, or could it be a more primal, feral sensation that your brain is having?

Our main topic is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Cognitive Distortions. We discuss what the most common cognitive distortions are and how they can affect the way that you perceive the world, as well as interfere with your relationships. We then discuss ways that you can manage these distortions and find a path to a happier, healthier you. 

Cognitive Distortions are a serious issue, especially when you put them in play into a relationship. They allow for negative, self-sabotaging behavior to rear its ugly head and the collateral damage can be incredibly great. While we discuss common methods for coping and resolving these issues, we do want to stress that we are not licensed mental health experts; this podcast does not represent any form of consultation or diagnosis. If you have further questions or want to come up with an action plan for correcting behaviors we discuss in this show, seek help from a licensed professional that specializes in this area.

We close out the episode with a question about how to tell your long-term monogamous partner that you want to give polyamory a try. We talk about communication a lot in our answer.

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 015 Lovecast Appearance and Trust

This week we lead off with a clip of our Second Opinion segment from Episode 495 of the Savage Lovecast, "Furries and Cheeseheads." Thanks again to Dan Savage and his producer Nancy Hartunian for the gracious invitation as well as granting permission to share the clip in full. 

Our main topic is about trust, which is all too often misunderstood. Trust is the other side of Integrity, and both serve as the foundation on which a relationship either stands firm or crumbles. We discuss what exactly trust is as well as how to develop and maintain trust in yourself and others. We also discuss how to handle breaches of trust and what you can do to recover trust once it has been broken. Spoiler: sometimes that just isn't possible. 

We also take a listener question about how to handle feelings of jealousy in an open relationship that you realized, after the fact, you wished was a closed relationship. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 012 Collie's Follies and Metriko's Mistakes

This week we go into the past and talk about our lives. What mistakes in life and relationships have we made, and how did we move forward from these negative situations? How have we handled some of the lowest moments of our life and what did we learn from this? 

We also take a question about whether or not you should sacrifice your relationship for employment.

Please note that this episode contains some sensitive material and covers some topics that some listeners might view as being disturbing. Please review our show notes for timestamps in order to prevent any emotional or mental issues that you might experience. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 006 Breakups

Breakups suck. But how can they suck less? When should you call it quits and how should you breakup without causing drama in the fandom? Also, how do you handle jealousy from a mate that is not in the fandom?

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

CONTENT WARNING: We discuss abuse and physical assault in this episode. Please see the show notes for time stamps if you would rather avoid those topics!!

FA 005 Integrity

This week we talk about Integrity. While much of what we say is, again, common sense, it is important to discuss the ethics of the furry community and how we, as a fandom, can be better to each other. Also, we answer the question of what it is like to live in a Pack House. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 003 Non-Monogamous Furry Relationships 101

While this might seem like a review of previous episodes, this is a presentation of Viro the Science Collie's workshop at ANE2016 (and future cons) for those who are unable to attend. You can find the actual presentation under the "Presentations" page of our website.

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 001 Relationship Structures

On this episode we discuss relationship terminology: what are the different types of relationship structures found commonly in the fandom? Also, how do you handle jealousy in a relationship?

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.