break up

FA 090 Getting a Derailed Convention Back on Track

We open this week's show with a discussion on video games and sex ed. Is there room for crafted video games and smart phone apps that target vulnerable teenagers who may not have the best access to a sex-positive education about sexual health?

Our main topic is on getting a derailed convention back on track. Over the past two weeks we have discussed how to get to a con and what to do at a con: this week is all about what to do when something goes wrong at a con. We talk about mitigation strategies for commonly encountered issues from injury, hangover, hotel room issues, travel delays, and more. It's a conversational show as we talk about situations we've been in personally and ways that we have overcome them.

We close out the show with feedback on volunteering at a convention and a question on seeking love when you believe yourself to be undeserving of affection.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 070 Drugs and Alcohol

We open this week's show with a discussion on radical honesty. We look at a Buzzfeed video where couples experiment with being totally honest with one another and, after cutting through the crap of the video, talk about ways you can implement some of the ideas they have in your own life and relationships.

Our main topic is on drugs and alcohol. Within the fandom there is a heavy focus on individuals being inebriated or high, and many such activities are praised or sought after as being inclusive in the fandom as a whole. We talk about why this is not optimal for your life or for relationships, how drugs and alcohol have impacted our life (positively and negatively), and offer some advice to new members of the fandom. 

It's important to note that if you struggle with substance abuse, please seek help as soon as possible.

We close out this week's show with a question whether it is a good idea to re-establish a friendship with a former partner who might still be carrying a torch for you. Should you proceed with caution, or snuff out that flame?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 067 Sexuality and Gender Expression Ft. Debra Soh

We open this week with a discussion on disclosure when dating. A recent study shows that sexual stimuli inspire people to be more vulnerable and forthcoming on themselves and their desires and interests in a partner when it comes to dating and long-term relationships. We discuss this phenomenon and go through why sex may not be as bad on a first date.

Our main topic is a discussion on Sexuality and Gender Expression with Debra Soh! Debra is a sex researcher and neuroscientist who writes a weekly column for Playboy and has been published in several other outlets, from Scientific American to the LA Times to the Globe and Mail. You can read a separate interview that Debra had in Quillette earlier this year if you are more interested in her background and areas of focus.

As a sexologist, Debra focuses on why people have the sexual interests they have and if there is cause, neurologically, for there to be a predisposition (or even if these paraphilias are hard-wired into the brain). She discusses recent research and findings in these areas, as well as whether this applied to gender identity. We also discuss some of the more taboo paraphilias, including "cub" attraction within the fandom. 

Debra invites all listeners that have questions for her, or if you want to keep up with her recent publications, to visit her Twitter page, @debra_soh. We would like to thank Debra for coming on and sharing her expertise in this. 

We close out the show a question from a listener who is in a long distance relationship with someone who is entirely incompatible in physical appearance, fetishes, and sexual roles. Do two tops make a bottom, or should the listener break up? Debra helps us out on this involved question.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 055 Self-Care during Jealousy and Breakups

On this week’s show we open with a discussion on whether or not apps like Tinder or Grindr have changed what people consider the “right” number of sexual partners when considering you as a potential mate. We look at an article in Playboy by Debra Soh that delves into the Goldilocks-zone of sexual partners.

Our main topic is on Self-Care during Jealousy, and Breakups. In relationships, whether monogamous or polyamorous, closed or open, we are all bound to experience bouts of jealousy. We discuss tips and tools to employ to help get over your jealousy in a relationship to ensure that you handle yourself in a healthy, non-violent fashion. We also look at the end of a relationship and how to take care of yourself and promote closure and moving forward when you go through a breakup.

We close out the show with a question on how to approach a friend who has fallen in love with you. Should you ask them whether or not they like you or like-like you, or is it best to say nothing in an attempt to maintain the current relationship status quo?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 015 Lovecast Appearance and Trust

This week we lead off with a clip of our Second Opinion segment from Episode 495 of the Savage Lovecast, "Furries and Cheeseheads." Thanks again to Dan Savage and his producer Nancy Hartunian for the gracious invitation as well as granting permission to share the clip in full. 

Our main topic is about trust, which is all too often misunderstood. Trust is the other side of Integrity, and both serve as the foundation on which a relationship either stands firm or crumbles. We discuss what exactly trust is as well as how to develop and maintain trust in yourself and others. We also discuss how to handle breaches of trust and what you can do to recover trust once it has been broken. Spoiler: sometimes that just isn't possible. 

We also take a listener question about how to handle feelings of jealousy in an open relationship that you realized, after the fact, you wished was a closed relationship. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 011 Online and Long Distance Relationships

Online Relationships and Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) have become a staple of the fandom due to our massive presence online. Most furries will, at one point or another, enter into some kind of a relationship that is non-local. 

How do you begin such a relationship, or maintain it once it is underway? What is the difference between an Online Relationship and a Long Distance Relationship? How do you set reasonable expectations for the relationship? What is the best way to keep intimacy regular when you might be continents apart? 

We also answer the question of whether you need a primary partner in order to be polyamorous. 

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 010 The Campsite Rule

Today we discuss the Campsite Rule, a concept that deals with intergenerational relationships (or relationships with drastic experience differences). How can you be in a relationship ethically when you are with a partner who is much younger than you, or much less experienced at relationships / sex / intimacy than you? We also talk about whether or not you should have sex with an ex, especially after you've just broken up.

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 006 Breakups

Breakups suck. But how can they suck less? When should you call it quits and how should you breakup without causing drama in the fandom? Also, how do you handle jealousy from a mate that is not in the fandom?

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.

CONTENT WARNING: We discuss abuse and physical assault in this episode. Please see the show notes for time stamps if you would rather avoid those topics!!

FA 004 Netiquette

This week we have a more lighthearted discussion about Netiquette. While much of what we say might be seen as common sense, it is important to go over it from time to time. How do you tell someone that their artwork turned you on without turning them off to you? Should you send porn to Tony the Tiger? Also, how do you handle a breakup?

For more information, including a list of topics by timestamp, see our Show Notes for this episode.