FA 064 Shame

On this week's show we open with a discussion on our recent article in Playboy. We go over some of the feedback we've received, explain some of our thoughts on the complaints, and explain why we agreed to give an interview in the first place in as least of a flippant fashion as possible. We also go over some feedback from last week's episode and add in a comic that was published by Oh Joy Sex Toy! which discusses Pup Play in comic format. We totally forgot to mention that-- our bad!

Our main topic is on shame. We talk about what shame actually is, how it forms in you as an individual, and what it can do to your life if left unchecked. The first in a three part episode series, this is a personal episode about us as hosts and you as a listener. Let's journey together as we work collectively to undo our faults. 

We close out the show with a question on sexual intimacy. How can someone have a dick too sensitive to touch but not sensitive enough from penetrative sex to cum? Is there something wrong with him, or is he doomed to never pleasing a sexual partner ever.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 063 Pups and Handlers

On this week's show we open with a discussion on five different theories as to why we get jealous in non-monogamous relationships. We go over theories from Freud to Labriola and get to the root to what we personally think on Feral Attraction and why jealousy might not be as bad as we make it out to be.

Our main topic is on Pups and Handlers. We bring on friend of the show Pup Powder to talk about his experience with the pup community. He delves into various areas, like who the pup community is right for, what to look for (and look out for), various terms used within the pup community, and addresses why the pup community gets along so well with the furry fandom. He also talks about Rubbout and why it's awesome.

We close out the show with some Feedback on how much Metriko talks in an episode and a question on reconciling polyamory with Christianity (or any religion, really). 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 062 Calming Your Emotions

On this week’s show we open with a discussion on sex-positivity and Orthodox religions. We look at an interview with an Orthodox Jewish couple who lead a double life: religious adherents by day, polyamorous couple by night. We discuss our opinions on their story and ways that it might be dangerous as an example for others.

Our main topic is on Calming Your Emotions. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the joining of Behavioral Therapy, Mindful Meditation, and Stoicism, three areas we have previously discussed. We go over the four pillars of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and discuss ways that you can employ these skills in your life to enhance your relationships with yourself and other people.

We close out the show with a question on coming out to your family as bisexual. How do you tell your family that you are bisexual, want to move away, and also are a furry? Better yet- should you tell your family? We discuss the positives and negatives of both options.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 061 Accepting Love as a Damaged Individual

We open this week's show with a discussion on how polyamory helps some people love being married. While some people view polyamory and marriage as being mutually exclusive, we look at an article on how polyamory has opened the door to love and longing in a marriage and how to overcome fear and trepidation at saying the things you are most afraid to say. 

Our main topic is on accepting love as a damaged individual. Within the fandom (and especially the LGBTQ+ community) many people face hardships and abuse. Perhaps it is a parent who hates that you are trans*. Perhaps it is a mate who acts in an abusive fashion. Maybe it is a lifetime of feeling rejected, or not belonging. It could be that you have depression or anxiety issues. Regardless, plenty of people feel that they are too broken, or they have too much baggage, to accept love from anyone or anything.

We go over ways to overcome this mindset and to help you as an individual reintegrate within the vast, beautiful kaleidoscope that is love and accepting love. We talk about our own lives, and ways that we overcame (and still work on overcoming) our inner saboteur. It's a heartfelt episode and one of our most requested topics. 

We close out the show with a question on finding love and friendship when you're shy. Yes, we said there were two questions but, as it turns out, the second question is more involved and we wanted to give it its own space and time to truly dive into. Enjoy the minor gaffe (and later explanation) on this: it's a great episode.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 060 Sexual Roleplay

We open this week's show with a discussion on a survey that tries to answer the question of what queer singles are looking for. We look into some data to show just how queer singles find dates, how open they are about their sexuality and preferences, and what their views on long term relationship commitments are.

Our main topic is on roleplay. As one of our most commonly received questions we wanted to dedicate a show to roleplay etiquette. How do you find an online roleplay partner? What if you're looking for a roleplay partner in meatspace? What are some things to look out for? How do you roleplay responsibly? We go over these, as well as the general dos and do-nots of role play to make you a more well rounded play partner.

We close out the show with a question on how to know if you’re losing interest in a mate. In long distance relationships how sustainable is New Relationship Energy, and how can you cultivate intimacy digitally?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 059 Handling Arguments at Conventions

We open this week's show with a discussion on STIs in New York City. Over the past three decades STIs have been on the rise while funding has remained stagnant. We look at factors as to why and ask the ultimate question: why is sexual health not considered to be recession proof?

Our main topic is on handling arguments at conventions. We discuss the common arguments, causes for arguments, and ways to avoid arguing with loved ones at conventions. We also approach the topic of former lovers, jilted exes, and friends who might have issues with you and how to handle confrontation (or even break ups) while at one of the most public of venues we as a fandom encounter.

We close out this week's show with a question on how to handle rejection. In a search for Mister Right, how can you handle being told no repeatedly or being matched with guys that just are not compatible? Should the expectations be adjusted, or is it perhaps too narrow a net is being cast? We discuss realism, optimism, and pessimism and how to appropriately set expectations.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 058 Commissioning Art

We open this week's show with a discussion on workplace discrimination and sexuality-based pay gaps. In the past research was done on a binary approach (heterosexuals versus non-heterosexuals). Now that more data is in, we can dive in and see which group in the LGB community (still not enough information for Trans*/NB individuals quite yet) make the most-- and least-- money. If this were other websites, we would inform you that number five will surprise you.

Our main topic is on Commissioning Art. With this being the day after Valentine's Day, we wanted to tackle a lighter, more fandom related topic, and one of the more common questions we receive is what is the best etiquette to practice when commissioning art of your character (and perhaps of other people's characters). We go through a quick checklist of things to look out for, points about copyright law, and steps that commissioners and artists alike can take to ensure the goodwill continues to be fostered in the fandom.

We close with a question on how to make friends if you are older than most other furries and also might have physical impairments you might be self-conscious about.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 057 Sex and Romance After Assault

Before we get into the content of this show, we want to advise you that this episode contains discussions on abuse (emotional, physical, and sexual). If you are sensitive to such discussions we caution you against listening to this episode. Please consider listening to a show from our library, or hugging someone, or waiting until next week to listen to our next episode. Thank you for your consideration! 

We open this week's show with a discussion on mouth wash and gonorrhea. While gingivitis and bad breath are the standard enemies of Listerine, is it possible that your daily hygiene regimen can mitigate against the spread of an STI?

Our main topic is on sex and romance after assault. As individuals who have gone through various forms of abuse, we open up about our experiences, our healing process, and ways that we were able to grow and learn to love ourselves (and others) after the fact. This is a rough subject, and a heavy episode-- however it is an important episode and we encourage you to listen. 

We close out this week with a question on suicidal mates and the burden of support. How can you support a suicidal partner, and what should you do if you no longer feel you can offer that support.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 056 Rebuilding Trust (After Betrayal)

We open this week's show with a discussion on poppers and eyesight damage. No, we're not talking about jalapeño poppers, but the kind of poppers you huff (if you huff jalapeño poppers please let us know). Known as VCR Cleaner, Tape Cleaner, or Leather Cleaner, this is a commonly encountered additive to sex that many people enjoy, and it is not well researched in terms of consequences to your long-term health. We look at one investigation that links damage to your vision to the usage of poppers and add another reason to consider carefully your choice to include them in your play.

Our main topic is on rebuilding trust in a relationship after a betrayal, cheating, or a rule violation. Relationships are never perfect and mistakes happen, but how to move beyond that mistake is not often discussed and it is consistently one of our more commonly asked questions. We look into this area of relationship healing and offer advice to both the offender and the hurt, as well as provide looks into our lives when we have been put on either side of this situation.

We close out this week's show with a discussion on love. What is love? Am I in love? What's love got to do with it? These are questions that singers and sages have asked for years but have yet to provide an answer. We hope to help one of our listeners figure out whether or not they are in love with their best friend and, if so, should they pop the question. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 055 Self-Care during Jealousy and Breakups

On this week’s show we open with a discussion on whether or not apps like Tinder or Grindr have changed what people consider the “right” number of sexual partners when considering you as a potential mate. We look at an article in Playboy by Debra Soh that delves into the Goldilocks-zone of sexual partners.

Our main topic is on Self-Care during Jealousy, and Breakups. In relationships, whether monogamous or polyamorous, closed or open, we are all bound to experience bouts of jealousy. We discuss tips and tools to employ to help get over your jealousy in a relationship to ensure that you handle yourself in a healthy, non-violent fashion. We also look at the end of a relationship and how to take care of yourself and promote closure and moving forward when you go through a breakup.

We close out the show with a question on how to approach a friend who has fallen in love with you. Should you ask them whether or not they like you or like-like you, or is it best to say nothing in an attempt to maintain the current relationship status quo?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 054 All-Questions Show Vol. 3

On this week’s show we open with a discussion about a recent study on whether or not testing for herpes should be included in the standard STD panel. We look into research and advisements that show that testing for herpes on a regular basis may not be as effective, despite the best of intentions.

Our topic today is our third all questions show! We take a trip through our backlog of questions, ranging from fitness to long distance relationships to dating friends. Several of these questions are longer and, as always, we invite you to offer your feedback on the questions and offer advice of your own, especially if you think we missed something or got it wrong.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 053 Puppy Love

On this week’s show we open with a discussion on how to deal with haters. We go back over the idea of reactions versus responses, emotional retorts versus reason, and the school of stoic philosophy. This also applies to how one can handle rejection, whether it's for a friend, for a 

Our main topic is on crushes. We go over how to handle having a crush, being crushed on, and how to determine whether to move forward into a relationship or let the flame fizzle out. In the furry fandom, and in the world at large, we often get the idea that having a crush must mean that a relationship needs to happen, or oftentimes confusing love for limerence. We discuss how to differentiate between the two, how to let people down easily, and how to be graceful when you are rejected by a crush. 

We close out with a question on BDSM anxiety: a young sub wants to get involved in BDSM but is afraid that they won't find someone closer to their age or someone who will treat them nice. We unpack this question and offer some advice on how to treat your elders in any community. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 052 Commitment vs. Autonomy

We open this week's show with a discussion on how self-control is just you empathizing with your future self. We look at an article that discusses your brain (with words that Metriko barely can pronounce) and how empathy and self-control are merely two sides of the same coin. It's an interesting lead in because-

Our main topic is commitment vs. autonomy in a relationship. As a relationship develops and becomes long-term, partners often struggle with balancing how to maintain their independence without sacrificing intimacy in the relationship. We discuss the definitions, pitfalls, and tribulations that are often encountered in such encounters, and ways that you can work to help stabilize your relationship. It's a real romp of a topic and one to get 2017 off with a running start!

Our closing question is from a bisexual guy who has issues emotionally connecting with ladies and problems performing anal sex with men. Is he doomed to be a straight player or is this just latent homophobia? We unpack this question and offer some less accusatory answers to his questions.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 051 All-Questions Show Vol. 2

We open this week's show with a discussion of foxes in male/male furry pornography. Are foxes at the top of the list of bottoms, or are we all going to yiff in hell for eternity?

Our main topic is not a topic at all: it's questions! We decide to close out the year with a series of questions about love over distance, jealousy, sexual assault, and how to keep a fuck buddy a fuck buddy. 

This is a more conversational, lighthearted episode, however we do discuss some serious topic and would like to issue a general content warning over a question that could contain a recounting of sexual assault. If you find you are sensitive to such matters, please use your own discretion when listening to this episode. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

We at Feral Attraction thank you for joining us this year, and we look forward to 2017. It is our hope that your new year is filled with laughter and, more importantly, love.

FA 050 Fairness versus Equality

We open this week's show with a discussion of Milo Yiannopoulos, the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and covert transphobia. We address who Milo is, why hate speech is not necessarily free speech, and why people responding to hateful speech is not a case of being sensitive. Free speech is one of the tenants that many countries hold near and dear to the rights of their citizens, however most people feel that makes you free from criticism. We also address covert transphobia, virtue signaling, and why the Chancellor of UWM is a shitbag.

Our main topic is on Fairness versus Equality. We discuss the balance of responsibilities, wants, needs, and desires in a relationship and how to make sure that everyone is contributing and benefitting in as positive a fashion as possible. Many people try to make their relationships equal, in time spent together, finances and bills being paid, and responsibilities being distributed across the board. We recommend replacing your idea of equality to equity, and build your relationship on that more stable platform on a journey to fairness. We go over common struggles encountered in relationships that attempt equality over equity, and how to make changes to help stabilize your relationship.

We close this week's show with a question on whether it's fair for a man to be the receptive partner in sexual activities more than his boyfriend is. We discuss equity, needs and wants, and sex charts.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 049 Sex Drive Mismatches

We open this week's show with a discussion on how Sex Addiction should not be considered a mental disorder. We look at Debra Soh's article in Playboy Magazine on how the science and support of individuals who have hypersexual libidos has shifted and should continue to shift in the future. 

Our main topic is on Sex Drive Mismatches. We've spoken about this in previous Advice Articles, however we wanted to devote a show to this topic as we frequently receive questions concerning this area. We redux our previous article and talk about what to do if you have a lower sex drive (like Metriko), a higher sex drive (like Viro), and ways you can reconcile the two and move forward in your relationship in an ethical, open and honest way. 

We close out this week with a question from someone who is attracted to twinks, but no matter how hard he tries he just can't seem to get twinks to like him back. We talk about monoliths, hivemind, and rounding up to one.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 048 Pack House Dynamics

We open this week's show with a discussion on why polyamory (or open relationships, really) are not for everyone. We discuss a YouTube Video which goes through this discussion in a fun, informative way, and we think that if you enjoy the show you would enjoy the video. Give it a watch after the show HERE.

Our main topic is on Pack Houses. We break down why that might be the wrong question to ask, as well as detail just what a communal house is, how they are structured, and how you can cohabitate in an intentional community. One of the most commonly asked questions of the show is how can one find a polyamorous house to live in, and we address why pack houses are less a random roommate on Craigslist and actually a relationship that you are entering.

We close out the show with two questions: one on BDSM Anxiety and the other on Long Distance Polyamory.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 047 Explaining Relationships to Family

We open this week on a serious note. As many are aware there was a tragic accident within the Pup community this past week that took the life of one of its most sex positive, fun, outgoing members. We were faced with a dilemma on how to approach this, as we wanted to address the dangers of self-breathplay (autoerotic asphyxiation) without shaming or causing additional pain for those whose lives he touched. It's an important topic, and one that we would be remiss to not discuss, so we attempt to do so as delicately as possible. 

What's important, in moments like these, is that we do not equate the individual to the mistake and, instead, celebrate the positivity and light that they shared with us. It's important that we educate others off of the mistake made, and continue the legacy they started of being open, honest, kink friendly, and a mentor and friend to many. It is in this spirit that we discuss auto-erotic asphyxiation and the inherent dangers as our top of the show. 

We did not use names, as we did not want to cause additional grief for others. It is our hope that we did this properly and, if you feel otherwise, we invite you to contact us with your feedback. This is a Pup who will be missed by many, including ourselves. May we all continue to spread their legacy to all we encounter on a daily basis.

Our main topic is on explaining relationships to family. During this holiday season many will have the unique position of "coming out" to their parents, whether it's as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, or as an individual in a poly relationship. We discuss how to prepare yourself for this, how to handle the ongoing conversations that might be started, and how to move forward once you've opened the dialogue. 

Our question for the week focuses on this main topic-- how do you handle a family member who does not want you telling other people about your relationship because they are afraid it will cause gossip or damage the reputation of the family?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 046 Monogamy

We open this week with a discussion on how to have the best headspace for making important decisions in your life. All too often we make choices in our life when we're in an emotional state (breaking up when you're having an argument, agreeing to plans when you're in a good mood, etc...) that end up backfiring on us. We discuss some research on how to make the best, rational decisions for yourself and your life. Remember-- never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach!

Our main topic is on monogamy. While Feral Attraction exists primarily as a podcast to detain non-traditional and non-monogamous relationships and lifestyles, monogamy is still the relationship style of choice for much of the public. While the furry fandom might be uniquely enriched with individuals exploring alternatives to monogamy, we did want to dedicate an episode to monogamy as it does carry its own unique challenges and difficulties to prosper.

We discuss the benefits of monogamy and why many people choose (or never deviate from the cultural norm) to be monogamous. We also discuss some of the challenges and pitfalls that people who are monogamous might experience, both in their relationships in general and in the fandom at large. 

We also have two questions this week, one on whether or not it's a good idea to invite a third into the bedroom, and another on what to do if you find yourself falling for your Master/Dom/Domme in a D/s relationship. Buckle in-- it's a long ride this week with Metriko and Viro! 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

FA 045 Dating and Spirituality

On this week’s show we open with a discussion on the recent presidential election in the United States. Our apologies-- this segment ran for much longer but we will be continuing this discussion in a separate show from the podcast. 

Our main topic is on Dating and Spirituality. Many people struggle to balance religion and relationships, especially when non-monogamous. Within the furry fandom we are enriched with individuals who are atheist, agnostic, or otherwise reject a spiritual path. That being said, there are plenty of furries who are religious or otherwise spiritual, and finding a balance in a relationship between partners of varying religious backgrounds can be trying. In this episode we invite on Leo Lion, who is Christian, to discuss methods to bridge that gap and to come to find loving, healthy relationships. 

We close out the show with two questions on loud sex and jealousy in relationships. Should you be loud as the hell you want when making love? When getting to know a new partner in an open or polyamorous relationship, should you do that one on one or in a group setting? 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.