I'm a single virgin. How am I supposed to be around my happy, mated friends on Valentine's Day?

I am a single furry and I'm a virgin, and I can't help but feel sad whenever I think about the fact that I'm not going to have anyone to call my mate or to share a romantic meal with on Valentine's Day yet again this year. How can I cope with my feelings of inferiority and shame so that I'm not absolutely dreadful to be around as my friends are all trying to celebrate the love in their lives?

I feel less important to my primary partner now that she is seeing other guys. Help!

Hello. I am a male in a polyamorous relationship with my mate, who is female. The problem I am having in my relationship is that I have been feeling significantly less important to her than her other partners seem to be. When I bring up my feelings to her, she denies that I am any less important to her and tells me that I am overreacting. I still struggle with these feelings, so I would be grateful to any help or insight that you might be able to provide

How do I get musky for a partner who enjoys my scent without it becoming overpowering?

My mate really loves my smell, and I want to get myself smelling musky for him so that he can enjoy it, but I really don't want my scent to be overpowering or to become any kind of a hygiene issue. How do I get myself to the right level of musky for my partner to enjoy my natural scents?

Help! I'm worried my mate will forget to tell me what happens when he sleeps with other guys

I've been in an open relationship with my mate for a little over nine months now. It was understood between each other that we could play around with other people as long as we told each other about it before or, if it were a spontaneous moment, right after sex happened. I'm not worried about him purposefully keeping things from me — we're open enough with each other for that not to be a problem — but I do worry sometimes about having things forgotten about or overlooked when talking to me. I don't want to be the crazy boyfriend and go accusing him of sleeping around with me in the dark but how could I approach the subject with him in a rational way? Is my wanting to know what he's up to too "jealous?

My long-distance mate wants us to open our relationship, but we haven't even had sex yet

Greetings. I'm currently engaged in a long distance relationship that's lasted approximately four months. We both love each other dearly, but are not able to visit in person frequently. In fact, we only just saw each other for the first time on the 17th of December, having made the relationship official in early August. During MFF 2016, however, he ended up getting a little too close with another furry for my comfort, and it went past the boundaries that we had previously established for the relationship. There was no actual sex, but some rather dirty dancing did happen, and eventually my BF ended up in the bedroom with that same furry cuddling in a quasi-sexual manner. He stopped before they got any further, but it wasn't something I was comfortable with. We made up quite soon afterward, and he told me that he was sorry for stepping out of line. Fast forward to Christmas day this year, and he's told me that things aren't as satisfying for him as he would like. Keep in mind, we've only sex-roleplayed over Telegram and haven't done much else. No sexual Skype chats, nudes, nothing else. Well, he wanted to know if it would be ok for him to do cuddling in and occasionally out of suit. That's something I think I would be able to get along with as long as it was relatively safe. Then he asked for some dirty dancing, and that's when I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. Then he asked for doing things with other people up to but not including anal. This is where I started having some really mixed feelings. On one hand, I want him to be satisfied in this relationship and I want us both to be happy. He also mentioned that he still wants me as the primary mate, and that he's not looking to replace me or anything. On the other hand, we haven't even kissed each other in real life, let alone had sex. I feel like I am being replaced even though we've never done anything in real life to begin with! I really want to be able to let him enjoy himself more, and in my own fantasies the idea is quite arousing. However I've been struggling with depression for a while now and I would feel crushed knowing that some other random furry had sexual relations with him before I could even kiss him. The idea came up of "How about if I don't tell you? A kind of what happens at the con stays at the con deal.” The problem with that is that I would know that every con he goes to he's probably doing something sexual and I'd feel even more helpless. He's told me that he would be willing to let me have physical/RP relations with other people too, but RP just isn't the same as real sex, and I haven't a chance at real physical encounters because I'm not comfortable with using Grindr or just random hookups, and I don't have a car. I'm truly at a loss here. I love him dearly, he's my whole world. We make each other better people, we're there for each other through thick and thin. Again, he's made it clear that he still loves me dearly and wants us to stay together. I'm determined to make this work too, I really truly am. But I need some help here, and I would like to hear your guys' opinion on the matter. I also plan to talk about this with my therapist. Thank you for your time

I'm dating someone I'm attracted to but not in love with. Should we have sex?

Hello, wanted to tell you guys you do an awesome podcast, keep up the good work! I apologize if this is long and ramble-y. My question is this: I sort of entered the ""dating"" phase of an IRL furry relationship. The other person, let's call him John, is less experienced with relationships than me, although we're both nowhere near experts. John is a bit clingy and is self aware of that. We've only been talking for about a week and we already went on our first date. I kind of want to take things a bit slowly emotionally, but I have almost no boundaries physically. We cuddled in the theater while watching Moana for our first date, and I had fun with that. But while we share lots of common interests, I don't really feel a strong emotional attraction, aside from getting super flustered when he says cute things. I would totally have sex with him, but I know he would probably get even clingier, as he gets attached to people very easily. I feel like I'm very close to becoming the jerk that "uses" people, which I have done before and deeply regret. I don't want to hurt him, but this is a rare opportunity for me since I won't be able to have more freedom to search for IRL furry mates until a year and a half from now thanks to my parents. I don't want to end the relationship, but I don't want to hurt John. What should I do so I don't become a jerk that just uses people for an opportunity to have gay cuddles again?

My mate and I are exploring polyamory, and he's upset now that I've slept with someone

My mate and I are beginning to dabble with polyamory. I'm built for it,  he's not.  He has a secondary partner as well as me, and we have someone we see together. We have clear rules, which are working. He usually sets the rules, as he is less comfortable in general, and we have been taking baby steps. Yesterday I slept with my first other partner, with consent from everyone, and I followed all of our rules. My mate reacted very badly and has since requested that I stay at home and away from him, telling me that he needs time to process it all. He's feeling angry and jealous, and doesn't want me to see him that way. He's considering breaking up with his other partner and saying that he can't handle this. I'm just at home feeling sad is all. I'm used to spending every night with my mate snuggled up. I feel I've betrayed him because I could have avoided this by not being polyamorous at all. What can I do to feel better, and to help my mate feel better?

My long-distance mate left me, and I can't get over him. Should I move closer to him?

My ex-boyfriend felt that because of distance he was starting to not love me as much, so he ended up dumping me. When I try to move on, I just feel dead inside and I feel lost. He was the first boyfriend I met in person, and whenever I am reminded about him I get sad. Since he left because he said he couldn’t handle long-distance, if I was able to move closer, would it be a bad idea for us to try again?

How do you handle being sexually assaulted at a con?

How do you handle being sexually assaulted at a con? I've been groped by strangers almost every con, and received varying levels of predatory aggression. And I'm not alone on this. 'Deflecting unwelcome attention' is sort of one level, but there's definitely more aggressive levels to it and frankly it's at the point where I've had people recommend I grab the person's badge and march it down to security.

Received via Telegram (name withheld)

Help, my long-distance mate has stopped being sexual with me, and now I'm insecure

So! I've been in a long distance relationship with someone for a bit over 18 months now. We met through a group of mutual friends and started dating when I was still 16 and he was 25. Everyone in the group knew him as a horndog who'd love to RP and show off but that didn't catch my attention at all; it was his sweetness and personality overall. He was always a complete sweetheart and I began crushing on him almost immediately after we met.

After a year and six months of dating, he's still as nice and sweet, but I honestly feel like he avoids me sexually for some reason. Sure, we'd do lewd things while being friends and even at the beginning of our relationship but that quickly died off. It's been roughly about a year since he last tried to do anything lewd with me at all.

Some people might argue that our age difference could be the cause but, like I said, we've actually done sexual things before. Hell, we even got a handful of NSFW commissions back in the day. I've tried confronting him about this already but he'll always reply with something along the lines of "I'm never horny" and "I'm not a sexual person." If I bring up the things he used to do with other people (roleplays, camming, nudes, etc,) he'll reply with "I'd just do it to please them but it was never satisfying for me."

Now, I'd honestly love to simply believe him and move on. I want to trust him, but his friends just love to remind me all the sexual things he's done with them. As someone with trust issues, it's really hard for me to just nod off these things and ignore them completely. Their words linger in my head and I begin wondering: am I simply not enough for him? Is he still doing all these things behind my back?

I'm going to turn 18 in November and we're planning on going to a con together next year, and he's willing to pay almost everything for me there. I just have to put in for the plane ticket and my own food. I'm also going to stay in his place for at least 2 weeks and if we truly like each other in real life, then I might move in with him later on. He wouldn't do that for someone he's not interested in, right? I know for a fact he hasn't done something like this for anyone else, and this is also the longest relationship we've both ever had before. He means the world to me and I seriously don't want to ever lose him. 

What can I do to deal with my insecurities and accept that he's saying the truth? Please help me out, I'm afraid of ruining my relationship over this.

Is my friendship with my now-taken lover worth saving?

I really want to stay friends with B, even though he was mean to me, because I still like him and I don’t want him to be angry at me. How should I approach someone after that? Have I missed anything from their perspective? Do I maybe deserve their silence/isn’t that what I wanted?

What should I keep in mind when moving in with a mate for the first time?

I'm wondering if you have any tips on how to survive with your first live in partner? I am moving in with my mate, and I've never lived with a romantic partner before. I'm pretty good at resolving conflicts with roommates, but it seems like living with a mate would be different.

How can I befriend a fellow top without making him think I have ulterior motives?

I am a top, and I really want to develop some friendships with other tops. However, whenever I start getting close to one, I feel like they suspect I am trying to get them to bottom for me. How can I remain respectful and cultivate these kinds of friendships?

My mate and I have changed during our relationship, and now we aren't sexually compatible. What should we do?

Our most recent problems stem from my views on love and sexuality. When we started our relationship it was as adventurously monogamous. I encouraged him to not feel restricted by me, as at the time I wasn't very sexually active (perhaps a product of depression). Jump forward to three years and I find myself in a situation where I love my partner, but I don't feel as though we're on the same page anymore.

I'm unable to really fulfill his sexual needs, but at the same time mine have grown in an opposing direction. I want to keep him in my life, but I understand that my hopes of having my cake and eating it too are likely in vain. We've discussed this before, but unless I approach the subject of splitting up he tends to evade the topic of having an open relationship and instead tries to ply me with ways in which to be more intimate.

I don't know really how to proceed from here. He says he can't live without me, and I admit our lives have become very tightly interwoven. I don't want to shatter the life we've built together, but I don't think it can stand the strain.

I can't date the love of my life officially because he's already with someone else. Help!

For a year now I've considered myself to be in a relationship with a guy who I love with everything I have. He's the first person I've ever had these feelings for, the first person I've ever dated, and the first time I've been romantic with another male.

Technically, however, we are not in a relationship because he already has a long-term girlfriend. He has considered the possibility of become a polyamorous triad and has asked her about this option, but she is uncomfortable with the idea and is unlikely to be persuaded otherwise. He has not told her about me or our relationship because he does not want to hurt her and lose what he's had for a number of years.

So I guess the question I'm asking is: Am I insane? To think that I'm in a secret, long-distance, semi-polyamorous, closeted, almost-relationship? I'm not expecting a perfect solution to my conundrum but I'm desperate for advice. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I can't keep this up with a smile forever.

Help! I agreed to a monogamish relationship, and now it is coming back to bite me

My mate and I met each other a little over a year ago though a mutual friend and have been mated for almost a year. We hit it off pretty well; if I have any confidence in the things I feel anymore, it's how darn infatuated we were with each other in the very beginning. The moment we became official was when I made my first mistake, when I agreed to his proposal of a monogamish relationship versus what I preferred; a 100% monogamous relationship. 

I'm struggling with my age-gap relationship, help!

I have been with my mate for years, since I was in my teens and he was in his early 20s. Now that my mate is approaching 30, I feel he treats me like a kid and doesn't value intimacy with me the way he used to.

My mate moved in with me too quickly, and now I don't know if this is what I want

I'm in a relationship of about 9 months now with a guy. We hit it off really well initially, but things progressed rather quickly and I find myself in a position where I'm not sure if this is what I want for the long term.

I cheated on my mate online. Now, how do I fix it?

I've been with my partner for about 4 years now, 5 in October. I have broken her trust by cheating on her with someone on Second Life. Even though it was digital, it was still cheating and I fully regret everything I did. I want to fix this relationship. Now, what do I do?