I'm having no luck dating, and every opportunity I seem to get doesn't end well. The latest girl has ghosted on me three times, and I think I am ready to cut her off, but I’m not sure. She says she's too busy with school, and that I live too far away, but I think she might just be making excuses. I’ve now made it clear that I will not seek anyone else; I’d rather have them seek me. Maybe I’m just not ready for a relationship, but I’m worried I’ll always just be alone.
Hello, wanted to tell you guys you do an awesome podcast, keep up the good work! I apologize if this is long and ramble-y. My question is this: I sort of entered the ""dating"" phase of an IRL furry relationship. The other person, let's call him John, is less experienced with relationships than me, although we're both nowhere near experts. John is a bit clingy and is self aware of that. We've only been talking for about a week and we already went on our first date. I kind of want to take things a bit slowly emotionally, but I have almost no boundaries physically. We cuddled in the theater while watching Moana for our first date, and I had fun with that. But while we share lots of common interests, I don't really feel a strong emotional attraction, aside from getting super flustered when he says cute things. I would totally have sex with him, but I know he would probably get even clingier, as he gets attached to people very easily. I feel like I'm very close to becoming the jerk that "uses" people, which I have done before and deeply regret. I don't want to hurt him, but this is a rare opportunity for me since I won't be able to have more freedom to search for IRL furry mates until a year and a half from now thanks to my parents. I don't want to end the relationship, but I don't want to hurt John. What should I do so I don't become a jerk that just uses people for an opportunity to have gay cuddles again?
So I have been friends with this person for 10 years over the internet. We met on one furry site in a group, and our relationship quickly grew. Soon enough we were mates, then he left the fandom, then he came back and we were mates again, only for me to have to go live in the ghetto. When I came back we were best friends, then he stopped coming around as much. It worried me, and with the onset of my anxiety I had a panic attack and told him I loved him. This was a year and a half ago. Since then he barely even talks to me, and has been spending alot of time with others and short changes me whenever we DO talk, with responses like: Yep. Sure. Uh-huh. And quick to get angry. He is like family to me and I would do anything to get him back, and I know he thinks of me as clingy. What should I do? He is tired of my apologies and any attempt at trying to fix it makes him think I am having a breakdown.
It's very rare that I have a crush on someone. As such, it took me until 30 to realize that, for me at least, the "love makes you dumb" trope is fairly accurate.
I'm the kind of person that doesn't friend people I don't know on Facebook. I rarely initiate a conversation with strangers. Hell, I rarely even say "hi" on dating apps on the off chance I might end up having to tell someone it turns out I'm not actually interested in them. Yet for some reason I decided it would be alright to friend a guy on Facebook (partly from the Hubby's suggestion) and, before he responds, initiate a conversation on Scruff. I can't remember most of the content, but I recall it being somewhat awkward and not the most positive interaction. I decided to pull back and not force anything. Within a couple weeks I realized the messages and his Scruff profile were gone. I canceled the Facebook request soon thereafter. Initially I thought he was just blocking/avoiding me, which was disappointing though understandable. But months later I found out he had a boyfriend briefly around the same time that may explain the disappearance from dating apps. That brings us to the present. Half a year later and I've mostly put the idea behind me when I noticed that my husband had started chatting with him, the two seemingly getting along fine. Since that point I've been dealing with a jealousy/envy that I'm not accustomed to. I"m happy that my husband's found a guy he likes, but I don't know if I'll be able to handle if their relationship progresses. It might be easier if I knew for sure that he wasn't interested in me, but since there was never any definite closure I'm just left wondering what if and what might be.
My main optimism for a friend/relationship is from the fact we mutually liked each other on OkCupid. Unfortunately my initial message was sent before I found this out. It was shortly after our brief communication that his profile came up and I starred it, since I was apparently still on my dumb kick. Of course I got the "Congratulations!" pop up. I recall perceiving it as a cruel irony. For all I know that may have hurt my position even more by making me seem stalkerish.
The main issue is the brief conversation we had is gone thanks to (I assume) him deleting his app profiles. Though even if it were there, I know there wasn't any closure. Still, if I had the chats I would be in a better place to know how to proceed now, but since I'm not clear if I just came on too strong/creeper-like or possibly offended him it's hard to say what direction to take. ltimately I just want to know if there's a possibility. I would just ask, but if he does have a negative association with me, I don't want that to influence his thoughts on my mate. Though at the same rate, should they end up wanting to do more than just chat, I don't know if I'd be able to handle it.
We live in a small community, and I'm seemingly more selective (hesitant?) than most, so it's rare that someone comes along that I'm actually actively interested in. If I knew for sure that he wasn't interested for whatever reason, it would suck, but I could manage and move on. But if he was turned off by my being abnormally forward, or perceived me as stalkerish when my feelings were just giving me a case of the dumbs, I'd hate to pass up something that otherwise seems to have potential.
Yesterday morning I read an article about a woman who'd enabled a man to cheat on his girlfriend, and when the woman told the girlfriend about it, her reward was to be bitched out for it. On one level, I would say the reaction is somewhat understandable, but at the same time, it's illogical since the woman didn't know the man even had a GF at the time. In any event, the woman has since adopted the perspective that whether the guys she sleeps with are taken is not her business to know; rather, it's their business to tell her. I went in expecting not to be too thrilled with the piece, but ultimately I by and large agree with her conclusions. What do you think about it?
I have a best friend who I have romantic feelings for, but the thing is he's very passive and sort of asexual. It's making it hard for me who's very dominant and very passionate about things to have these feelings for him. It also makes it hard on him because I overwhelm with my feelings. I just need some advice on how to settle down; I don't want to make it hard on him because I'm just swimming in emotions for him.