Power Exchange

Is BDSM total power exchange ever a valid relationship structure, or are submissives in total power exchange relationships mentally ill?

Throughout history, people have classically had a difficult time understanding relationship styles and relationship structures different from the ones they would choose for themselves. In the 1950s and 1960s, people accused those in interracial relationships of being mentally ill, sick, or wrong. In the 1980s, the same was said of those in homosexual relationships. Today, we struggle with these accusations being slung at those in open, polyamorous, non-gender conforming, and/or BDSM / power exchange relationships.

I like to get tied up and muzzlefucked — is this safe?

I had a question about an interest of mine. I'm well-read but rather inexperienced in BDSM and power exchange stuff, but I definitely enjoy a bit of domination/submission flavor to sexual encounters — I generally either like to be in bed with a rather domineering partner who more or less has their way with me, or take that role myself. In particular, I seem to get off on varying degrees of discomfort endured while pleasing my partner — as a bottom, I like my partner to go just a bit faster than my body can comfortably handle, to not let me warm up, and generally, to make things hurt. When I'm giving blowjobs, I really like to be held down and controlled, to the point of not being able to breathe. One of the hottest things I've done with my (now ex) boyfriend was when he put me in handcuffs and a collar, put me on my knees, and throatfucked me in the shower. I specifically asked him for this, including the stipulations that we do it when I had an empty stomach so I wouldn't be sick when I inevitably started gagging, that he hold me down when I started to struggle, and that we do it in the shower so I wouldn't be getting drool and spit everywhere. For my part, I stayed down as long as I could, so when I started to struggle, it was almost an involuntary fight for oxygen, and him stopping me was what got me off. It went fantastically, and I really enjoyed it. Still, this is a form of breath play, and everything I read tells me breath play is dangerous, uncontrollable, and bound to cause serious physical harm. That said, this is so much fun that it's hard to turn it down if I can get it. Just how dangerous is this? Our safety system was that my handcuffs were made of velcro, and while you can pull as hard as you want and they won't come loose, they can be undone by pulling on a strap that I could reach, though it might take a second or two.  Also, my ex is gentle by nature, and I really doubt he would take this too far — He was doing it mostly for my sake, though I think he did enjoy it as well

How do I find a relationship when I move around so frequently?

 The long and short of it is that it is incredibly difficult to pursue my education and relationships at the same time! How can I look for a committed relationship with a furry dominant if I move every few years?

People keep telling me my Master-pet power exchange relationship is abusive. Help!

I am a furry involved in a total power exchange Master/pet relationship, with myself being the pet. A bit more about my relationship: I live with my Master, who is also legally my husband (I am a submissive gay deer, and he’s my Alpha wolf). Our relationship is usually amazing, and I love being his. However, we get a lot of criticism from friends and family members who do not understand our relationship. I hate it when people call my wolf “abusive” or “controlling,” though I imagine it must look that way from the outside, for many reasons. For example, my wolf reads my texts, I have to ask him for permission to spend time with others away from him, and I’m not allowed to spend money without his consent. He’s even reading this email as I write it! Of course, I love that he pays such close attention to me, and I think it is incredibly hot that I am so thoroughly his. How do I defend my mate against unfair accusations and make people understand that this is what I WANT?

What do I do with my online pets if I find a mate?

So, I have a situation that I wonder how to go about. So I'm a master, purely online at the moment, but me being how I am and enjoying purely monogamous relationships, what would I do with my pets if I found a mate? Would I leave them if my mate didn't like the idea? Or was a non-furry and just found the idea of online roleplays with strangers really off putting. It's alway worried me getting a new pet or two that was sexual because if I got attached and got a mate I'd feel obligated to put all my sexual focus on them. But I wouldn't want to leave my pets hanging there, since they have needs and might have an emotional connection to me as well. I don't want that clash, and luckily I haven't had this happen, but I would have no idea how to go about this whole situation if it did and I imagine others have wondered or been through this as well.

I love the idea of non-monogamy, but jealousy is preventing me from enjoying it

I'm a 22-year-old straight-ish female furry, and I am currently struggling with some jealousy issues. My boyfriend and I have been trying to explore non-monogamy together recently, but I am having some problems with it. Intellectually, I am totally cool with him being with another girl, and I really love the idea of us being able to experience other people sexually during the course of our relationship. However, right now, emotionally, I am having a hard time with it all. The last time my boyfriend and I had a threesome, with another girl we were both into, I enjoyed myself a lot until I saw him put his hands on her and embrace her intimately in a way he usually does with only me, and I just snapped and hated the rest of everything that happened. I didn't really let on that I was no longer comfortable or enjoying myself so as not to ruin their time, but I ended up hating myself both for having that reaction to begin with, when it's something I should be okay with, and for not speaking up for myself. How can I move forward as an ethically non-monogamous person, when that's really what I want, when I am experiencing such crippling jealousy issues?

Help, I'm in love with my asexual best friend

I have a best friend who I have romantic feelings for, but the thing is he's very passive and sort of asexual. It's making it hard for me who's very dominant and very passionate about things to have these feelings for him. It also makes it hard on him because I overwhelm with my feelings. I just need some advice on how to settle down; I don't want to make it hard on him because I'm just swimming in emotions for him.

Learning to be more dominant in bed

Breaking into “kinky” sexual play, including bondage, domination/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM) can be a bit difficult if it isn’t something you have considered before. It can also be difficult if you have considered it, but you feel more drawn to the (submissive) role that your partner wishes to take.