Dating

I'm sick of Being rejected and ghosted on. Should I just give up on dating for now?

I'm having no luck dating, and every opportunity I seem to get doesn't end well. The latest girl has ghosted on me three times, and I think I am ready to cut her off, but I’m not sure. She says she's too busy with school, and that I live too far away, but I think she might just be making excuses. I’ve now made it clear that I will not seek anyone else; I’d rather have them seek me. Maybe I’m just not ready for a relationship, but I’m worried I’ll always just be alone.

My local mate is trying to get with my long-distance mate for the wrong reasons

I’m in a polyamorous relationship with three lovely people, two of whom are monogamous, and two of whom are long-distance relationships for me. My short-distance partner (who is monogamous) has said she is fine with my setup since the start, but I recently went to visit one of my long-distance partners (the polyamorous one) for a week, and honestly, it’s one of the best weeks I’ve had — we fit so well together, and everything was perfect. Now I’m back and my short-distance partner is having tantrums, breakdown after breakdown, and this partner is trying to get into a relationship with my polyamorous long-distance partner, and I am very uncomfortable with that, as I know she isn’t doing it out of love, but out of the fear she has of me doing things without her, and I am worried it will put a strain on the fantastic relationship my polyamorous long-distance partner and I have. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but it doesn’t seem to help, and usually just adds more stress on top of everything. I’m completely for them talking to each other, but the fact that she is going into this with the intention of getting into a relationship really puts me on edge. I’m completely at a loss for what to do. I’d love your input.

Guest Column: A Little's advice goes a long way

Hey, everyone! Viro here. I've been away from my column for a bit due to some personal issues I've had to resolve in my own life, but fortunately I have an excellent guest column to offer you all this week — a very personal bit of wisdom from an experienced submissive, learned the hard way (the school of hard knots, anyone?).

Without further adieu — or lame puns — please enjoy Riley Coyote's piece and learn what you can about submissive headspace and how to avoid letting desire for kink drag you into unsavory situations.

My new mate wants me to be more sexual in conversation with him, but I feel awkward

The short and dirty of it is that my new crush wants me to be more sexual in conversations with him; however, I’m currently not in a place where I feel experienced, confident, or natural talking about it. I'm currently in a new-ish (1 month or so) long-distance relationship with someone, and we both like each other. However we're in a weird-ish spot of sort-of-not-really-boyfriends? He's more experienced when it comes to dating, whereas I'm really inexperienced — having only ever dated one other person a good 7 years ago — and am also still a virgin. The issue we’re having is that he wants me to be more sexual in conversations with him; however, I feel that I'm just clueless and have no clue what to talk about. I want to advance our relationship further, but he says that this is important to him in a relationship, and I'm not sure what to do or say in regard to that sort of stuff, so I sort of feel helpless. I don't want to disappoint him, but I also don't want to feel like I'm rushing myself or forcing myself to say something. Any advice on what to say or do? Thanks.

Guest Column: Think twice before putting sex outside of the “friend zone”

I (Viro) have been traveling extensively for a number of weeks and I’m currently re-adjusting to life stateside, so instead of answering a question this week, I’m posting a guest column on sex within the context of healthy friendships from Soatok, your friendly neighborhood gay dhole (Asiatic wild dog), “cryptografur,” and pun enthusiast. I’ll soon be resuming the usual weekly advice column posting schedule, hopefully beginning next week!

My mate’s family won’t let me travel with them for holidays and vacations. Help!

Hey, everyone. I have a question about something that has been bothering me with my current relationship. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now, and things have gotten pretty serious — we’re going to be moving in with each other next month!

Now, as for the problem: I don’t think his family approves of our relationship. His mom’s side is from the south, so they’re pretty conservative. His family likes to travel for holidays, either taking a road trip or flying out. However, his family disallows me from joining them during any of these trips. This really upsets me, because something that's important to me is being able to spend holidays/big events together with my partner. I'm not expecting to go for free — I’ve offered to pay if that's the problem — but that doesn't change anything.

I am discouraged by rejection and considering giving up on romance, help!

I am a single furry, and I very much would like to be in a relationship, but love never seems to come my way. I’m really struggling with trying to keep putting myself out there, after failing so many times. At this point, I feel like it’s pointless to bother, since all I ever get is rejection and disappointment. I’m sure I sound completely pathetic, but I don’t know what to do, and I’d really like to hear your advice on how I can avoid giving up on finding romance altogether.

I am stuck in a relationship with an inexperienced fur who is way too clingy

I am finding myself stuck in a super clingy relationship. Things started off well enough, but when my new boyfriend celebrated our two-week anniversary, I began to worry. At this point, I desperately want out, but this is my boyfriend's first time ever being loved, and I don't want to break his heart. Any idea of how I could go about ending it without doing cheesy stuff like telling him, "It's not you, it's me"? I really don't want to break his heart.

I'm dating someone I'm attracted to but not in love with. Should we have sex?

Hello, wanted to tell you guys you do an awesome podcast, keep up the good work! I apologize if this is long and ramble-y. My question is this: I sort of entered the ""dating"" phase of an IRL furry relationship. The other person, let's call him John, is less experienced with relationships than me, although we're both nowhere near experts. John is a bit clingy and is self aware of that. We've only been talking for about a week and we already went on our first date. I kind of want to take things a bit slowly emotionally, but I have almost no boundaries physically. We cuddled in the theater while watching Moana for our first date, and I had fun with that. But while we share lots of common interests, I don't really feel a strong emotional attraction, aside from getting super flustered when he says cute things. I would totally have sex with him, but I know he would probably get even clingier, as he gets attached to people very easily. I feel like I'm very close to becoming the jerk that "uses" people, which I have done before and deeply regret. I don't want to hurt him, but this is a rare opportunity for me since I won't be able to have more freedom to search for IRL furry mates until a year and a half from now thanks to my parents. I don't want to end the relationship, but I don't want to hurt John. What should I do so I don't become a jerk that just uses people for an opportunity to have gay cuddles again?