Closed Relationship

My mate won't text me during the day, but he texts others, help!

Hey quick, question. I've been having some communication issues with my mate recently. We're both furs and live in the same city, and we both work web development. We used to be able to talk online here and there and have a decent conversation, but for the last handful of months he hasn't really been talking to me when I message him.

My mate and I have changed during our relationship, and now we aren't sexually compatible. What should we do?

Our most recent problems stem from my views on love and sexuality. When we started our relationship it was as adventurously monogamous. I encouraged him to not feel restricted by me, as at the time I wasn't very sexually active (perhaps a product of depression). Jump forward to three years and I find myself in a situation where I love my partner, but I don't feel as though we're on the same page anymore.

I'm unable to really fulfill his sexual needs, but at the same time mine have grown in an opposing direction. I want to keep him in my life, but I understand that my hopes of having my cake and eating it too are likely in vain. We've discussed this before, but unless I approach the subject of splitting up he tends to evade the topic of having an open relationship and instead tries to ply me with ways in which to be more intimate.

I don't know really how to proceed from here. He says he can't live without me, and I admit our lives have become very tightly interwoven. I don't want to shatter the life we've built together, but I don't think it can stand the strain.

I can't date the love of my life officially because he's already with someone else. Help!

For a year now I've considered myself to be in a relationship with a guy who I love with everything I have. He's the first person I've ever had these feelings for, the first person I've ever dated, and the first time I've been romantic with another male.

Technically, however, we are not in a relationship because he already has a long-term girlfriend. He has considered the possibility of become a polyamorous triad and has asked her about this option, but she is uncomfortable with the idea and is unlikely to be persuaded otherwise. He has not told her about me or our relationship because he does not want to hurt her and lose what he's had for a number of years.

So I guess the question I'm asking is: Am I insane? To think that I'm in a secret, long-distance, semi-polyamorous, closeted, almost-relationship? I'm not expecting a perfect solution to my conundrum but I'm desperate for advice. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I can't keep this up with a smile forever.

Help! I agreed to a monogamish relationship, and now it is coming back to bite me

My mate and I met each other a little over a year ago though a mutual friend and have been mated for almost a year. We hit it off pretty well; if I have any confidence in the things I feel anymore, it's how darn infatuated we were with each other in the very beginning. The moment we became official was when I made my first mistake, when I agreed to his proposal of a monogamish relationship versus what I preferred; a 100% monogamous relationship. 

My mate moved in with me too quickly, and now I don't know if this is what I want

I'm in a relationship of about 9 months now with a guy. We hit it off really well initially, but things progressed rather quickly and I find myself in a position where I'm not sure if this is what I want for the long term.

Should I try a closed long-distance relationship if I'm used to open relationships?

I have a question about trying a closed relationship because I've usually been in open ones in the past. I really think I have feelings for this guy, but he wants a closed relationship, and I'm not sure whether that will work for me in the long term, especially given that we're long distance. Should I give it a try?

How do I define cheating in my non-monogamous relationship?

I am a 22yo male wolf in a polyamorous triad with two wonderful mates, a 19yo male fox and a 24yo female vixen. We all identify as bisexual. Lately, we’ve dealt with some infidelity problems, and we’ve been able to work through it, but I think we’re all a little confused about expectations given that we are in a non-monogamous relationship. How should we define what cheating is, given that we have more than one mate as it is?

What do I do with my online pets if I find a mate?

So, I have a situation that I wonder how to go about. So I'm a master, purely online at the moment, but me being how I am and enjoying purely monogamous relationships, what would I do with my pets if I found a mate? Would I leave them if my mate didn't like the idea? Or was a non-furry and just found the idea of online roleplays with strangers really off putting. It's alway worried me getting a new pet or two that was sexual because if I got attached and got a mate I'd feel obligated to put all my sexual focus on them. But I wouldn't want to leave my pets hanging there, since they have needs and might have an emotional connection to me as well. I don't want that clash, and luckily I haven't had this happen, but I would have no idea how to go about this whole situation if it did and I imagine others have wondered or been through this as well.

What is the right thing to do when considering intimacy with someone who might be mated?

Yesterday morning I read an article about a woman who'd enabled a man to cheat on his girlfriend, and when the woman told the girlfriend about it, her reward was to be bitched out for it. On one level, I would say the reaction is somewhat understandable, but at the same time, it's illogical since the woman didn't know the man even had a GF at the time. In any event, the woman has since adopted the perspective that whether the guys she sleeps with are taken is not her business to know; rather, it's their business to tell her. I went in expecting not to be too thrilled with the piece, but ultimately I by and large agree with her conclusions. What do you think about it?

My mate and I have always been open, but now I'm feeling jealous

When we started our relationship, I was the more outgoing one when it came to relations outside of our own, but recently we had a huge shift in our personalities. I’m not sure what’s getting to me, but I’m shifting to a more monogamous mindset and I’m having a hard time not pushing those expectations on him. It’s bugging me because I know it’s very unhealthy to feel threatened or lash out and I’ve never had these feelings before. I’ve always been rather relaxed, so I’m feeling really guilty about all these recent feelings I’m having where I want to control a situation or where I don’t want him to enjoy himself at all at the expense of my own feelings.

When is it okay to add a new mate to an existing relationship?

My mate and I have been exclusive with each other so far in our relationship, but I think I am falling for a friend of mine. My mate is open to the idea of a poly relationship, but how do I know if that is a good idea for us? I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with my existing mate — I love him very much.

Non-monogamous Furry Relationships 101

Non-monogamous Furry Relationships 101

I was fortunate to host the Non-monogamous Furry Relationships 101 panel at Anthro New England on Saturday. The panel had 33 attendees, making for a standing room only crowd!

Episode One Listener Feedback

We at Feral Attraction were very pleased to receive a substantial amount of listener response after our inaugural episode this week. While much of this feedback was positive, we did receive some criticisms that it is important we address.