Abuse

Is BDSM total power exchange ever a valid relationship structure, or are submissives in total power exchange relationships mentally ill?

Throughout history, people have classically had a difficult time understanding relationship styles and relationship structures different from the ones they would choose for themselves. In the 1950s and 1960s, people accused those in interracial relationships of being mentally ill, sick, or wrong. In the 1980s, the same was said of those in homosexual relationships. Today, we struggle with these accusations being slung at those in open, polyamorous, non-gender conforming, and/or BDSM / power exchange relationships.

People keep telling me my Master-pet power exchange relationship is abusive. Help!

I am a furry involved in a total power exchange Master/pet relationship, with myself being the pet. A bit more about my relationship: I live with my Master, who is also legally my husband (I am a submissive gay deer, and he’s my Alpha wolf). Our relationship is usually amazing, and I love being his. However, we get a lot of criticism from friends and family members who do not understand our relationship. I hate it when people call my wolf “abusive” or “controlling,” though I imagine it must look that way from the outside, for many reasons. For example, my wolf reads my texts, I have to ask him for permission to spend time with others away from him, and I’m not allowed to spend money without his consent. He’s even reading this email as I write it! Of course, I love that he pays such close attention to me, and I think it is incredibly hot that I am so thoroughly his. How do I defend my mate against unfair accusations and make people understand that this is what I WANT?

I have an aversion to being touched, and it is hurting my relationships

I am having difficulty with physical touch and intimacy. How can I overcome this so I can be happy in a romantic relationship and allow my partner to enjoy the cuddles and snuggles and casual touch that so many furs in the fandom seem to love so much? I avoid getting close to people right now because I don't want them to feel rejected when I recoil from their touch. I feel isolated and depressed, because I do want a romantic relationship.